Talk:South Africa

From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia
Jump to navigation Jump to search

It made my whole day worth while. Thanks for the laugh :-)

Somebody should add something about "BEEsinessmen" who are easily identified as fat, black individuals driving mercedes S class cars, bought using their BEE business loans. just a thought.

You racist pigs make me feel proud to be South African! This article is very funny.

Need more coverage of sport, which is probably more funny than all the racist stuff. We saffers do have a way of shooting ourselves in the foot.

This is not even remotely funny!

This article is a piece of crap and isn't funny. Seriously. Go find a hobby. (or go find a sense of humour)

- it's cheaper than beer...

By the way, Robert Mugabe is not South African. I think it needs more on alcoholics and livers and Ministers of Health and Manto Tshabalala-Msimang.

Some pertinent, some funny, some just racist and unnecessary!

shocker! some funny stuff... the languages, and the AIDS bit as well (although it could use a facts template. They really don't believe HIV becomes AIDS!!). not enough reference to biltong, or whatsherface and that other one (Minister of Health and Nelsons ex-wife). Could use some more reference to the current Dark Lord (Thabo). And who uses the word "darkies?" This article must've been written by a vaalie...

actually...we people around Cape Town use the word "Darkies" Darkie -> Black, "Kallit" -> Brown, "Boer" -> white

I'll see if I can do some work on it... when i have time. Try and cleanse it of the overly racist undertones (which, by the way, aren't funny in such excess, although a little bit may be necessary. after all, this is about S.A.) -- Soul101

I've started a subpage HERE!! . I would welcome criticism and ideas so join in please... Soul101 14:27, 6 September 2006 (UTC)

I know a guy, who have an xbox

Wow[edit source]

Warning: Article may be full of Consistantly Bitching White People.

It was hilarious, though. And far too true. Esn 11:53, 8 December 2006 (UTC)

Translation[edit source]

I have found a Xhosa translation site is where you translate sentences to isiXhosa. It is the English to Xhosa translator, where you translate sentences to Xhosa. --Blakie 04:07, 15 September 2007 (UTC)

Umnqundu[edit source]

Umnqundu means ass in Xhosa. Pronounced oom-N¡OON-doo. Blakeman was banned for a week, MU HA HA HA!07:11, 6 October 2007 (UTC)

emZantsi-Afrika[edit source]

Ndithanda emZantsi-Afrika. --58.178.190.12 04:49, 14 October 2007 (UTC)

Molweni! Ndithetha isiXhosa. --58.178.190.12 04:49, 14 October 2007 (UTC)

KULUNGILE. HAMBA UYONCANCA UMNQUNDU LAM!!!! --58.178.190.12 04:53, 14 October 2007 (UTC)

BEPHA WENA!! --58.178.190.12 04:53, 14 October 2007 (UTC)

NDISISIHLEKISO. NDIYAHLEKISA. --58.178.138.190 03:54, 20 October 2007 (UTC)

Suggested Additions[edit source]

Language


"Redneck" - Any individual of english speaking decent.


Under the dialog bit


Often you'll find that if you remark on an Afrikaans speaking individuals quality of English and grammar they'll reply with: "I can speak English deliciously since I was twice years old!" Which really speaks for itself.


District 9


A recent movie has spilled the beans on a long time secret held in South Africa, most South Africans have taken an oath to never talk about District 9, unfortunately a chap named Neill Bloukamp was promised sexual favours from a virgin Maori tribe and agreed to spill the beans. District 9 is a concentration camp setup for a tame alien species addicted to cat food, there are ruthless xenophobia acts that has impacted the community.


BEE - Recent changes to the amendment bill


The Government has now improved the BEE (Blacks Eating Everything) amendment bill by inserting substantial threats directed at all caucasians that dare to lie or cheat on their BEE report cards. They warn that this would be considered fraudulant because the government has already trade marked these elements on behalf of all black citizens.

Rich whities caught lying about how much money they have given to black people can now choose to either serve a jail sentence (that exceeds that given to convicted rapists and murderers) or hand over more honestly earned money, however it is unclear which of the two is preferred. The Government has further assured all black people that hard working caucasians will no longer be able to cheat their way to success and that it will now be easier to do so themselves.

TOO MANY LANGUAGES[edit source]

South Africa has too many languages, thus resulting head asplosion

So true, my friend. So true. XxPanzerOutlawxx 04:00, December 10, 2010 (UTC)

Extension of National Hero Section[edit source]

How about adding Vernon Koekemoer?

National Kinloch Day It celibates the first beating of a black person by a European person. That was in 1678, can we add it?