Talk:Jesus

Is it really?

"THIS IS A HOUSE OF BASKETBALL" is not original material. It has been shamefully plagiarized from an Onion article entitled "Christ Returns to NBA." bian ur gay Removed the basketball bit

Modusoperandi 09:23, 9 Nov 2005 (UTC)

Time for a Re-write

Just a teensy one. Zena Dhark…·°º•ø®@» 08:13, 14 September 2006 (UTC)

Big white space

at the bottom of the page. What the hell? Chocolate Rain 15:47, 9 September 2008 (UTC)

Is this the main article of Jesus?

There are so many articles of Jesus here that I am not sure which one ist the article of True Jesus(tm). The best one of all Jesii articles should be chosen as canonical. 193.65.112.51 09:36, 13 October 2008 (UTC)

Beginning and the end

At the beginning of the article is a weird message that is lacking some letters or words. At the end of the article is a big white space. Please correct them. 193.65.112.51 09:36, 13 October 2008 (UTC)

Jesus joke

Reminds me of one. A hobo makes his way to the reception desk of a fancy hotel and demands the best damned suit for free on acount of him being the reincarnation of christ, or the second comming, what do you fundis call it.

Asked to prove it, he says "I will demonstrate by walking on the water, as I did in biblical times. Take me to your swimming pool!"

A mob is attracted on the way, and hundreds of people watch him put his left foot on the water surface. It holds! Then hey puts his right foot down on the water. Lo and behold, he really walks on water.

A moment later however, things go badly wrong, he submerges entirely and the would-be jesus nearly drowns, what for the care of a life-guard that retrieves him from the deep.

So naturally, everyone wants to know what went wrong, as things started out so well.

"Ach", he replies, "Since them Romans cut these holes in my feet it just doesn't seem to work anymore".

-- di Mario 21:44, 23 February 2009 (UTC)

Movies of Jesus

• The Gospel of Mathew. Director was executed later by friring squad.
• The controversial Trilogy by Mel Gibson:
  • Passion of Christ, a NEW HOPE to mankind (based on "The Passion play"-album by Jethro Tull)
  • Roman EMPIRE STRIKES BACK on Christians
  • THE RETURN OF Christ (long waited sequel, that has been stuck on developement hell)
• The so-called prequels of Jesus' childhood. The fans have condemned them to lowest inferno. "Throw them to sarlac". "Pure myth and legend".
  • JESUS the MENACE. Jesus is found from the desert; he takes part on a camelriding contest, which he wins.
  • REVENGE OF JEHOSHUA. Jesus retuns to find his mom, he kills the tribe keeping her captive.
  • ATTACK OF HERODSES. Jesus is wrestling with the Emperor-to-be. The criticks feels the audience is fooled, the outcome is left open: was it a dream sequence or not.
• The LIFE OF JESUS CHRIST. The rice and fall of a poor son of carpenter and how he is mistaken to be John Cleese, messiah of comedy. Monty Python -believers have been demanded this movie to be banned over 30 years.--DieHard (talk) 21:03, 14 November 2014 (UTC)
• The FEARLESS JESUS KILLERS, or Pardon Me, But Your Cross is on My Back. Dark comedy by Roman Polanski. A Pharisee and his assistant arrives to a distant village, and they find out it is cursed by Jesus and his followers. --DieHard (talk) 10:39, 6 December 2014 (UTC)

Include as second variant name:

the Cheese-assed Messiah (Cheese-arsed in paleo-English/Old World English)

About my link change.

Jesus obeyed God in Spirit, if not in exact rules, so, for the sake of Accuracy, you can't pothole the Man to be God. However, the authority He disobeyed was the hypocritical Pharisees, Hence why I changed "The Man" pothole to the Greek philosopher HypocritesGreencat Quark 21:14, 22 September 2022 (UTC)User:Greencat Quark

Oops the Man liberals disobey is not always a hypocrite. Though you do have an article on "The Man". Better pothole it to it so it would be accurate to both Jesus and American Liberals. Greencat Quark 09:30, 23 September 2022 (UTC)User:Greencat Quark

His pseudonyms.

You know, Jesus went by many pseudonyms to escape the romans: Joshua Nazarene in His hometown, Isabella In Miriam in Mecca, Yehoshua Barry Joseph in Judea, Is soy XP-otous in Greece, Jesùs Hernandez in Spain, Joshua Josephson in France...Greencat Quark 12:48, 2 October 2022 (UTC)User:Greencat Quark