Some victorian guy

Known by many for his sharp looks and strange frisbee abilities (he fucking incinerated the frisbee), this Victorian guy is better known for winning the Mr. Victoria pageant in 1977. Appreciated for amazing break dance moves which are as tight as his shorts. Loved by the ladies for his incredible sporting skills and impressive collection of Pokémon. He was best known for being a founding father of the game, Smash Ball which is now played in 134 nation’s world wide. One time he won twenty bucks by eating a burger out of a dumpster.

“I will kill you, and your mum.”

~ Some Victorian Guy on people questioning him

“He killed me, and my mum.”

~ Colin Farrell on Some Victorian Guy

Early life

The early life of Rhyss was strange and arousing. It has long been an urban legend that Rhyss emerged naked from a giraffe. But according to Parents, doctors, many scientists, a giraffe and Oscar the Grouch this is untrue and silly. Rhyss did indeed spawn from humans but the nature of this occurrence is stranger than most. When born he was incredibly small, standing less then a foot tall. He had little hair, could not walk or talk and had limited knowledge. But over a 17 year period Rhyss has developed incredible, physically and mentally. He now has a highly expanded intelligence, can walk and talk effortlessly and has grown over 10 times his original birth size. If this growth rate continues scientists have predicted Rhyss could grow into a gigantic evil skeletor like creature, and then kill all.

Artist impression of Some Victorian Guy at peak of growth

Story of Some Victorian Guy

Born to his parents, he grew up. As a small child he dreamt of joining some sort of space alien fighting team, but he never did because they are not real. Realising this as an unattainable dream he decided to become a tree, he once again faced difficulty. After much deliberation on his intentions he headed down the path of being a professional Man, a goal which he easily obtained and still practices today.

Smash Ball

At 11:34 on a Friday, Victorian Guy met two people of equal intelligence, anger and good looks on the back oval of his school. It was here the three of them debated how much better they were at hurting another person. Eventually they all agreed to test each others anger by playing what would later become known as Smash ball.

Other Stuff He Can Do And Stuff He Can't

Rhyss has many skillz that killz. He is able to put food in his mouth, crush it with his teeth into a watery pulp and then convulse his muscles to force it into his stomach, a skill which does not impress most. Rhyss can juggle really fast. Over the last few years many people have claimed to have seen him floating. People can not float. So those people were either 'high' on ' the smack' or they were testie heads. He is thought to have extreme ten pin bowling abilities, much like Jesus.

The Travoltan Side

During his stay at Travoltopia in 1873 after traveling back in time to save Hitler (the basterd owed The Victorian Guy money), the Victorian guy had a nasty unexpected run in with the dreaded "Toliet of the dammed". It took him 3 long days and 18 V drinks, but looking over at the destroyed city of Travoltopia, The Victorian Guy stood victor proudly over the messy piles of faeces that spurted out of the toilet after a vicious de-blocking. Later on during a second trip to Travoltan The Victorian Guy had a affair with a gypsy robot monk with an arm for a leg and a leg for an arm, producing his love child "John Travoltra" in memory of the city he once destroyed.

Greatest Anchovies

celebrating after the big ultimate panatlantic win

• Is a smash ball founding father
  
• Getting his face on the internet.
  
• Stole three kittens(successfully).
  
• Stole four more kittens (unsuccessfully).
  
• Sea shell collection of over elleven ( five of which are the same).
  
• Managed to collect hormones in a jar.
  
• Is good at making soup.
  
• Kissed for ten minutes.
  
• Urinated for ten minutes.
  
• Sat for ten minutes
  
• Freed refugees.
  
• Freed Willy.
  
• Has Lenny Kravitz
  
• Has Diorrhea
  
• Had a affair with a gypsy robot monk with a arm for a leg and a leg for an arm.
• Met his girlfriend on the Roblox forums. Why the fuck was a 30 year old playing Roblox? Don't know, this is just what Elmo told me.