Sandymount

Sandymount (Irish: Dumhach Thrá) is a upper-class seaside village/suburb in the district of Dublin 4 in Ireland. Blackpool is also a coastal town, but will never have the feelgood factor of Sandymount's friendly local ladies of the night.

The area is bounded on the Strand Road and Beach Road side by the sea at Sandymount Strand and Merrion Strand. To the north is Irishtown Garda station and to the west, Ballsbridge. Sandymount Green is a triangular park at the centre of the village, a popular meeting place for the Dublin 4 Oompa-Loompa's to show off their fake tan and peroxide blonde hair.

The Catholic church in Sandymount is dedicated to Our Lady Star of the Sea, and pagan rituals continue to this day, worshipping the sun, blood sacrifice, believing in Ian Paisley and bingo on Thursday nights. Mount Tabor nursing home shares the grounds of the church and is a popular place for relatives looking to get written into a will.

Sandymount Village

The supermarket currently operated by Tesco Ireland is unique in the chain, frequently running out of Diet Coke and charging €4 for a bottle of water. Ryan's pub, the local tavern is a name synonymous with overpriced alcohol and only place on earth requiring I.D. to buy Club Orange. Ryan's is owned by George Hook's hobosexual half brother, Geoffrey. Today, many of the family-run businesses have left the village, moving to classier areas. Franchises such as Tesco, Xtra Vision and Spar have made their presence felt but the overriding feel of the village is one of small, poverty stricken and dog molesting cajoling houses.

Items on sale in the local spar

The village contains almost all of the shops one could possibly need; butcher, crack den, cobbler, cafe's, barber, chipper, art gallery, sex shop,post office, clothes and sex shops and rape house. The chip shop is run by a member of the Borza family, an Italian cartel currently dominating the import of greasy food. The village is served by two pubs, and a number of restaurants and cafe's. Sandymount has a station on the electrified (DART) suburban railway system, although it's placed away from the village, so commuters from the more upper-class areas of Greystones and Blackrock aren't jealous of Sandymount's picturesque and quaint seaside lifestyle.

Ryans

Sandymount in Contemporary Art and Literature

Sandymount features prominently in Episodes IV of James Joyce's Ulysses currently being remade by George Lucas. The Sandymount monument is famous as an architectural masterpiece situated on the Strand Road, overlooking the picturesque and quaint Irish Sea.

Monument on Sandymount Strand

Prominent Residents

Sandymount is the birthplace of poet W.B. Yeats, cyborgJesus, and the residence of Doreen Daly, the only daughter of Helen & Herman Daly[1](an ecological economist and former professor at the School of Public Policy of University of Maryland, College Park in the United States.) Born in Mexico, South USA, she was raised in Cobh, Co. Cork. Her mother abandoned her before conception and to this day denies any link with Ms. Daly. Raised by her father she grew up in a masculine setting, leading to her phobia of living with other women. Doreen studied cookery in a 'Meals-on-Wheels' van that called to the house every Tuesday. Following this training she studied Home Economics in Trinity College Dublin, gaining her degree in foreign cuisine, with specialization in sautéed pork products. Once a prominent Restaurateur, once said to be Dublin's answer to Delia Smith . It could be said that Ms. Daly is like her beef. A tough exterior hiding a juicy and tender pink inside...

Early Career and Success

It was she who coined the phrase " A Woman's Place Is in the Kitchen" which incidentally lead to the book of the same title [2]. She Set up restaurants such as the aptly named 'Sitting Duck' and well known 'Stinking Rose'(a glass-enclosed gazebo-like structure. Daly's menu is a new world mix of styles - some Asian, some Southwestern - and represents a healthy approach to eating out) as well as an off license named 'Dick's Liquor'. The place quickly built up a reputation for fine cuisine. However It was in the year 1980 that she rightly got the recognition she deserved when she was awarded the main award from the WCR(Women Chefs and Restaurateurs) This prestigious award recognizes women who have demonstrated excellence and innovation in: the dining room, kitchen, baking and pastry arts, beverage profession, farming and food production, community affairs, as well as for a lifetime of culinary excellence.

Later followed by the WCR Golden Whisk Award sponsored by The Institute of Culinary Education this Recognizes excellence in the kitchen and honoring a woman whose passion and excellence as a chef or cook serves as a role model for others. Other awards soon followed, Homemaker of the Year 1984, Mister Muscles Cleanest Award 1987 and Country Home and Living's 'Flattest Dough Award'. This trophy earned her the nickname 'The Rolling Pin' or 'The Pin' for short.

These rewards not only attracted more customers but also lead to financial security and the purchase of a fine Georgian mansion in the leafy suburb of Sandymount, saying "the picturesque and quaint setting reminded me of Cobh Harbour". She was at the height of her power some would say a 'punctilious maestro with the Midas touch. Receiving such praise as - The Herald: "simple, superbly prepared"...it's not a mirage" The Food magazine: "zesty", "a small paradise" - The Southside People: "brightly seasoned food"

Comeback Tour

However It was in the late 1980's early 90's that things began to turn sour when the restaurants went bust. This was seen as a blessing in disguise as it lead to the opening to the public of 'Orchard House' This beautiful house was now open to lodgers. Although pricey you were guaranteed the best cuisine in extraordinarily tranquil surroundings as well as wonderful hospitality provided you followed the disciplined regime of the manor. Residents of 'Orchard House' are in for a treat how could we forget the old Dublin favorite Coddle(http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Coddle) still served to this day quite a rarity in modern day Dublin. She is still quite a maverick in her field as this was evident in several of here other dishes...One in which revolutionized the world cuisine..........

While the traditional Christmas dish was seen as Turkey & Ham she begged to differ. She began to ask such questions like How do you keep turkey moist? How do you cater for vegetarians? Can sprouts be interesting? How to try and avoid that horrible bloated feeling that you can get after Christmas dinner? It was also thought By the time it gets round to Christmas Day most people have had three or four turkey dinners already, so she kept it interesting by doing all the classic vegetables but with a twist. That twist was her signature dish ---- the 8th- Treasure Duck ----a Whole Duck marinated and braised with winter bamboo shoots, loftus seed, black mushrooms, tree ears, and other goodies until fork tender, then glazed in its own simmering sauce! Not only was it delicious but it also helped avoid that bloated feeling.

Another thing guests can look forward to is the serving of a salad in between the starter and main course. It cleanses the palate and gives you a break so you don't feel as if you are continuously stuffing yourself with meat, which is what leads to that very uncomfortable feeling, especially when you are not used to eating that volume of food. It is these raritys that make it a very special place. Frequently also housing students these come from all parts of Ireland as well as foreign countries such as Germany, America, Peru, Brazil, Etheopia and Darfur. What an interesting mix of cultures! All tastes are catered for a favourite is the student special--- Tender Boneless white fish fillets sautéed in aged mutton fat on a archaeic stove. Special occasions are also catered for for example Valentine Day when the Chef Lovers' Prawns A Chef original is served! Half the prawns are sautéed in a light wine sauce; half in a spicy chili paste & garlic sauce. True love's favorite!mmmmm! Although subjected to various hardened rules here are just some for example ---- 1.No Continental Breakfast after 9am, 2 'No Herbal tea after 9pm' 3. Also the manor has to be vacated no later than 10am on a Friday Morning'( although this rule is essential as the master bedrooms are given a rigorous clean.. and menus and food supplies are procured for the following week. )

Home Life

Chez Doreen

The picturesque and quaint Chez Doreen is built on a large half acre site, overlooking a early medieval roadway. Intricate wrought iron gates lead up a cobbled path to the ivy covered entrance. Upon entering the grounds one feels a sense of well-being and tranquility wash over them. The house itself was designed by Dublin County Council, who also constructed such timeless classics as Ballymun habitation towers and other timeless local authority housing.

At home Doreen is free from the pressures of catering for students, demanding her own 'personal space' from the hours of 9am to 6pm. During this time she is to be found vigorously scrubbing the polished stone floor, or maintaining the Victorian carpet, a gift from a wealthy friend. An avid antiquarian, the Daly household is a museum to ancient pieces of literature and mementos to the past.

The atmosphere is one of lightheartedness and humour were laughter is heard at the dinner table and jokes are said by the Pin one popular one being .....

Question: What did the grape say when he was sat on?

Answer: Nothing, he just let out a little whine."

Quotes & Pin Food Philosophy

Finally I think it would to more than suitable to finish up with the now renowned Quotes & Pin Food Philosophy:---

"I want to create a cuisine that people can enjoy every day and feel good about eating. While choosing the leaner (Tesco) cuts of meat and relying on low-fat grilling as the primary cooking technique, I also use the bright, bold seasonings found in Asian and southwestern cooking. This allows me to create a lower fat menu alternative while still providing full flavor…(Pin Food Philosophy).

She has developed and nurtured long-term, deeply felt relationships with local farmers and growers. "It is," she notes, "the rapport I've cultivated over a period of twenty years with local supermarkets(Tesco) vintners, butchers and fishermen that gives my food substance, body and emotion.... (what a quote)

Personal Quotes

If it looks like a duck, walks like a duck, talks like a duck, it probably needs a little more time in the microwave."

‘’If you want breakfast in bed, sleep in the kitchen’’

"Personally I stay away from natural foods. At my age I need all the preservatives I can get."

"I'm at the age when food has taken the place of sex in my life. In fact I've just had a mirror put over my kitchen table."

"Remember Chefs; Mold just increases protein"

"GOYS!!! It's 10 o'clock. Time to leave as I need to change the beds"

Trivia

Doreen was drowned on the Schooner Cork Pride while looking for the freshest Irish pike, but was raised from the dead by Jamie Oliver, who sold his soul to the Devil.

Doreen is a member of 'The Cardigans' fan club