Rhyl
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“Where the fuck is Rhyl?”
Rhyl is an exclave of Liverpool separated from the rest of the city by a sizable chunk of Wales.
History[edit | edit source]
Rhyl was founded in 32 AD by Jesus's younger brother Marvin Christ. He needed somewhere to hide from his resurrected brother because Marvin stole his foreskin. Legend says that the foreskin of Christ is buried somewhere under Glan Clwyd Hospital, where a magnificently-foreskinned tree has grown from it. This tree has become a site of pilgrimage for local Jews who want their dicks back.
Between 102 and 999 AD, fuck all happened in Rhyl.
Rhyl was completely ignored by the Normans after their invasion in 1066. One of them, Norman Norman, made it as far as Wrexham looking for a Pizza Hut but was eaten by a pack of rabid Welshmen.
In more recent history, Rhyl has been host to not one but two separate attempts to install monorails. The shortest-lasting of these attempts was active for 4.6 femtoseconds whilst the other is so unremarkable that even those boring bastards at Wikipedia can't tell me when it was opened.
Economy[edit | edit source]
Rhyl is notable for being one of the most beaten-down and deprived areas in the United Kingdom. Only the following areas are more wretched:
Language[edit | edit source]
Speaking English in Rhyl is completely forbidden. Some say that this has lead to a shady undercity of English-speaking cave people who spend their days hissing at the sun, worshipping an old Monorail car, and sipping tea from the skulls of their enemies. These people call the town Rill because they don't understand the Welsh spelling.