Porno Horse
Porno Horse (Jan. 1, 1969 - Oct. 27, 1994) was a horse known for his contributions to the field of animal porn. He was also an animal rights activist, film director, and very talented pop musician who can definitely sing without autotune and definitely doesn't just wave their ass at a camera while pretending to play a musical instrument. Definitely.
Early life[edit | edit source]
Porno Horse was born to Porn Ography Horse and Pinkie Pie in 1969. He was raised in a stable in Maryland. At the horse age of 20, he starred in his first film, Harder Daddy!, written and directed by himself. The film was a major success, and showed that he was a talented young director, writer, and porn star.
Career[edit | edit source]
After Harder Daddy!, Oscar Wilde approached him and asked if he would be in his next film, entitled Deep Horse Throat. Porno agreed, and the two subsequently began a long friendship and would since work with each other until Horse's death. In 1976, Porno decided he would take a break from directing, and focus entirely on acting. He returned to directing in 1982.
Porno Horse became a major animal rights activist in 1983 after ██████████████████████████████████████████████████[1]. He started making music videos as well, and got into music himself in 1986. His first album, Jackal Off, was received well by critics and considered one of the greatest albums of all time, along with L.A. Beaner, by The Doors.
Later years[edit | edit source]
Porno Horse began having health problems at the horse age of 65. In his later years, he mostly directed and wrote scripts, though he did have minor roles in non-porn films. He died tragically of natural causes in 1994, making him technically part of the 27 club.
Death[edit | edit source]
Porno Horse's funeral was attended by famous figures like Oscar Wilde, Oprah, and Jim Morrison. Oscar Wilde allegedly said, at his funeral, "Nice dick." He then proceeded to open the coffin and suck Horse's dick. A statue of Porno was erected (mmmmm…) in his home state of Maryland.
See also[edit | edit source]
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