Pissing outside
Pissing Outside also known as weed killer and an act against God is the act of pissing out in public near the local nursing home, side of the road, or in a cornfield in the middle of Iowa, instead of in the privacy of your own bathroom. Pissing outside is generally responded to with motivational speeches such as "What the fuck are you doing in my lawn?" "Get out of here you nasty hobo, if I ever see you again, I will blow your fucking brains out, I swear!" and "you could've done this anywhere else for all I care, but on my leg? Why? Just why??" While pissing outside is generally seen as disgusting, foul, and will guarantee you disappointing everyone in your vicinity, pissing outside can also be very crucial in your miserable life, don't lie to me saying that right now you aren't eating Cheetos, getting your hands all orange with that horrid sticky Cheeto dust you foul beast of a so called "Human”. Anyways, pissing outside can be extremely important in our daily lives, such as when you drink too much of that water that's all warm because it's been sitting in the car for like 2 days and you really need to take a piss, you can just pull over, whip out the willy, and enjoy your piss while looking around nervously hoping that nobody just so happened to walk by as you were attending to your business.
History[edit | edit source]
Although Pissing Outside has been practiced by many indigenous cultures for years, it was invented in Western contexts in 1769. Benjamin Franklin and George Washington hit a Bomb-ass joint behind the Boston townhouse, and were about to piss their hats. So, they decided to pull out their Revolutionary Long rifles and piss on some grass. Franklin told this anecdote to most people he met afterwards, mainly women, thus spreading the news of pissing outside.
Pissing In Other Contexts[edit | edit source]
During David Attenborough's expedition into the Democratic Republic of the Congo, he was noted saying, while passing by a local Congolese village, “I just don't understand why these people are casually spanking their snakes out in public whilst pissing at the same time. I thought Africa was evolving, man. Clearly my homeboy from Kinshasa fucked me by having my eyes witness these awful acts of nature." It was later reported by a member of his expedition crew that he never wanted to step foot in that "godforsaken country" ever again. However, he was given an offer from the Emperor of The United States, stating that he would be granted immortality if he went back to said “godforsaken country", an offer he could not decline as he was old as fuck and could die any day now.