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Before reading this article, it is required you scream the following in the loudest, deepest, most raspy voice possible: SPECIAL BEAM CANNONN!

Then proceed touch your finger to your forehead (or antenne, whatever floats your boat man), and lazor whomever you choose.

The True form of Piccolo.
Rayman! I'm the king of the teensies!!!@#

This is the green guy that everyone loves to hate. He likes to drink water, tea, hard liquor, and said to be addicted to all forms of porn. He is also a devout American, as you can see by his bad ass turban, cape, and outfit!

Piccolo: But it doesn't make a bit of difference guys, The balls are inert! Gohan: But we still- Piccolo: but it doesnt make a bit of difference guys Gohan: But we can- Piccolo: The ****ing balls are ****ing inert...**** Gohan.

HISTORY[edit | edit source]

As History says so, Piccolo was found by Albert Einstein in a jungle far far away, then taken to the Nuclear Labs for testing. After being pushed into a huge ass dick from Planet Namek, Piccolo was seperated from his morbidly obese brother, Shrek, into the pod. Shrek actually had this as a plan because only the fat ass Namekians could be the elders, such as Guru, the most obese phat green man ever. Shrek was the successor due to his Pounds that went right off the chart, and Piccolo ordered McNamekians everyday for a month, Shrek had decided to rid him. After Albert Einstein found him he sent him to Nazi Germany where he was put in a concentration camp for being Green, then when the Soviets raided the camp they found the green man planting some fucked up seeds that then destroyed the Soviets.

Upon returning to Einstein, Einstien asked for Piccolos true name. In reply, Piccolo confirms his name Pickle OJ. Shaba-Jackson-Special-Gohan-Beam-Akhaludu-Bux-Counter-Green, JR.

Growing Up[edit | edit source]

Piccolo (Marquese) learned how to play a piccolo when he was 2 years old, and played it with Nam until the tournament, where he met a little fucked up monkey boy with a huge stick who beat the shit out of him and stuck the flute so far up his ass it caused Piccolo to break into two people. Out of pure rage and fury, Piccolo formed his ultimate attack, the Clothes Beam! He later this uses on his son, Gohan to change his underwear so he wouldn't have to touch his "glubarke". This would normally be an opportunity to strike it big at the sweatshops, but Piccolo was too busy training, which involved activities such as being a present father, and/or not neglecting a four year old child.

Death[edit | edit source]

Like all bad ass Superheroes, Piccolo dies. But only after teaming up with Ronald McDonald to fight against the Burger King in a triple threat match only to get the shit beaten out of him by the fucking Undertaker , whereas Ronald McDonald died and Piccolo cried and then abused Ronald's dead body. After doing so he was caught by a bald headed midget and a little number 1 fan. Then came this huge ass dude and weird ass haircut man and they killed Piccolo, thus his death.

Then he ran on some planet and met some fatass blue guy with antennas that he mistook for Shrek, only proving that Piccolo is a Namekian even more.

More and then Death Again[edit | edit source]

After his fusion with a dying black guy he sought out to kill a gay purple white tsiled girl voice faggot thing that couldn't stop transforming. Piccolo took out his epic flute from his ass and played it as a huge snake jumped out and ate the gay purple white tailed girl voice faggot thing. After this Piccolo returned to esrth and raped Gohan like the pedophile he is years later only to be attacked by some fucked up robots, who in turn made Piccolo fuse with his Seperation again, making him even more retarded and stupid then before. He used his Lazor to destroy the beast robots and some rapist, only to end up fighting a Fucked Up huge load of bubble gum shit only to end up having the world destroyed and remade as he died again.

And then the story that comes afterward is shit so there's no need to talk about it because all he does is die. again.

See Also[edit | edit source]

References[edit | edit source]