Norton Duck Pond Conspiracy

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The Norton Duck Pond, also known as the “Ducky”, is a duck pond located in the town of Norton, UK.[1] Recently, the Pond gained reputation for the “Norton Duck Pond Conspiracy”, a conspiracy founded by the inhabitants of the Pond.

History[edit | edit source]

In 1984, a ship, nicknamed “Titanic” by the residents of Norton, has sunk in the pond due to an iceberg[2] ducks attacking the ship.[3] The incident wasn’t very well-known until 1985, due to the witnesses being silenced by Big Brother.[4] The authorities increased the safety around the Ducky in order prevent similar incidents happening in the future, including changing the pond so nobody can get out of the pond after going inside.[5] The ducks didn’t take it too well, and formed the Norton Duck Pond Conspiracy.

Motives[edit | edit source]

The cube-shaped cheese that sits on a plate, before being thrown in the Ducky.

The main motive of the Conspiracy is to remove the safety measures around the pond and set the ducks (And maybe a few humans and a cube-shaped cheese on a plate- WE’LL GET TO THE CHEESE LATER, ALRIGHT?) free, even if it means destroying the pond completely. It is currently unknown if the members of the Conspiracy support Big Brother. But it is known that they’re against partaking in experiments that have a similar nature to one conducted in 1949.[6] The Norton Duck Pond Conspiracy also shares members with HETOW!, the activist fish and waterfowl group (And probably one of the few people on Twitter with brains),[7] which shows that they also work for equal attention for fish and waterfowl in the workplace.

Incidents Connected to the Conspiracy[edit | edit source]

  • Several wreckings of the Pond’s blast wall.[8] They still ain’t stopping. Help me.
  • The Returned Children. Allegedly, the Norton Duck Pond Conspiracy helped 5 children who were stuck in the Pond return home. No, the man behind the slaughter-[9] Or “Purple Guy”, I don’t give a shit about his name- was not involved with the process of luring the children inside the Ducky. I swear.
  • The Norton Cheese Shop Incident. One of the members of the Norton Duck Pond Conspiracy, which was a cube-shaped cheese sitting on a plate (Also known as the PYROMANIAC[10] of the Conspiracy), stole thousands of dollars (thousands of pounds) worth of cheese from the Norton Cheese Shop before burning it down. The cheese was given to the inmates of the Ducky to eat.[11]

References[edit | edit source]

  1. ↑ Do not research the town
  2. ↑ I AM DISAPPOINTED! -An iceberg chart meme fan
  3. ↑ There's still no information on why they attacked the ship. I think it's something something predator-seeking brain something.
  4. ↑ NOBODY IS SAFE FROM BIG BROTHER!
  5. ↑ It's just an one-way ticket. NO RETURNS!
  6. ↑ Paco is still alive. He is. And he will return or maaaaaybe not. But know that Paco is still alive and is doing alright, okay?
  7. ↑ Fucking SJWs! -Oscar Wilde
  8. ↑ You're awake! How about that?
  9. ↑ Why hello there, old sport.
  10. ↑ I fear no cheese! But that thing... It scares me.
  11. ↑ It's at least better than Doritos and MTN Dew. Imagine if we were in that diet... What would we become? -The cube-shaped cheese
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