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“One more word outta you and I'll mozzarellize your ass!”

~ Satan Claus on Mozzerllization
The Casa Mozzarela in Spain, constructed with Mozzerellization.

Mozzirallization, pronounced Mozzarillization, is an absolutely incompetent - but cheap - form of adhesive.

The process of mozzirillization is relatively simple. It involves taking mozzarella cheese from any available source, melting it, drying it, melting it again, stirring it, adding a pinch of salt, melting and drying it again, adding two teaspoons of love, melting and drying it a further five times, stir it, melt it, and dry it. The glue is used today in anything and everything, even in things which don't need glue. Although its use has resulted in the extinction of the Pizza Industry, it has brought many people together emotionally like the items it has brought together physically. Isn't that lovely, kids?

The Leaning Tower[edit | edit source]

The most famous example of the use of mozzarlezation (You know what, I'm gonna call it M from now on because I simply can't be FUCKED to write out mozzeriliwhatever all the time. Heck, I can't even spell it properly.) ..... wow, that was a long bracket. Where was I? ... Ah yes, the most famous example of the use of M is is the Leaning Tower of Pizza. Made up of some eight hundred pizzas, the tower is the very first time M was used. Since Pritt Stick was far too overpriced - and non-existent - when the tower was created, the builders thought, "I know! We'll use the cheese from the pizza as glue!" To date, the tower has fallen down and been rebuilt 27 times. Italians, you know, they just don't learn from their mistakes.

Other Examples Of M[edit | edit source]

  • The Casa Mozzarella, shown above, is Spain's equivalent of the White House. Only it's yellow and it's made out of cheese. The point is, the Prime Minister lives there. Or the president.
  • Jerry the Mouse lives in a mozzarellized house.
  • The World Trade Center was held together with mozzarella cheese, which may have caused the collapse on 9/11... Well, I'm not completely sure about that actually.
  • Itchy the Mouse lives in a mozzarelized house.
  • You live in a mozzarelized house, 'cause you can't afford to live in a proper house. You can't actually tell, but I'm laughing at you.