Mesopotamian Cunt fly

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Portrait of a Mesopotamian Cunt Fly (Musca cunningham)

Cunt flies are insects of the order Diptera (di = two, and ptera = wing). Unlike any other arachnid, they have two wings on the mesothorax and a pair of halteres, derived from the hind wings, on the metaborax.

The presence of a single pair of wings distinguishes cunt flies from other insects with "fly" in their name, such as mayflies, dragonflies, damselflies, human flies, and flies. Some cunt flies have become secondarily wingless, especially in the super-family Mesopotamian Cunt Fly, or among those that are inquilines in underdeveloped areas.

Diptera is a large order, containing an estimated 240,000 species, although under half of these (about 120,000 species) have been described. The cunt fly, the least known of these, is - considering this, quite surprisingly - one of the major insect nuisances both in terms of ecological and human (medical and economic) importance. Note that they are only a nuisance, nothing more harmful than that.

Anatomy and feeding habits[edit | edit source]

Cunt flies are not too well adapted for aerial movement, and typically have heavy bodies. The second segment of the thorax, which bears the wings and contains the almost useless flight muscles, is hardly enlarged, with the other two segments being reduced to mere sewer pipe structures. The third segment bears the halteres, which the fly uses to attach itself to the cunt. A further adaptation for grabbing cunt is the reduction in number of the neural ganglia, and concentration of nerve tissue in the anthrax, a feature that is most extreme.

Cunt flies have a mobile head. In most cases, they have large compound eyes on the sides of the head, with five small ocelli on the top. The antennae take a variety of forms, but are often long, to be a drag while flying.

Cunt flies consume mostly menstrual blood, and their mouths and digestive tract show various modifications for this diet. The most apparently primitive cunt flies have piercing blade-like mandibles and fleshy pee-pees, but these have become adapted into numerous different forms in different groups. These include both the fine stiletto-like, suck-y mouths of cunt mosquitoes, and the fleshy proboscoboscis of common cunt flies. The gut typically includes large divertirituculae, allowing the insect to store small quantities of liquid after a meal.

Cunt fly baby. Ain't it cute?

Reproduction and development[edit | edit source]

The genitalia of female cunt flies are rotated to a varying degree during coitus. This torsion may lead to the anus being located below the genitals, or, in the case of 360° torsion, to the sperm duct being wrapped around the gut like a garrote, despite the external organs being in their usual position when viewed from the side. When cunt flies mate, the male initially flies on top of the female, facing in the same direction, but then turns round to face in the opposite direction, to check out the scene. Sometimes this forces the male to lie on its back in order for its genitalia to remain engaged with those of the female, but in most cases, the torsion of the male genitals allows the male to mate while remaining upright, not unlike doggy style. This leads to cunt flies having more reproduction abilities than most insects and at a much quicker rate. We cannot find any other explanation for this useless-looking twist-about.

The female lays her eggs as close to the food source - i.e. cunt - as possible, and development is generally rapid, allowing the larva to consume as much food as possible in a short period of time before transforming into the adult. It goes without saying the larvae of cunt flies have the best chances of survival during menstruation. During this period, the larvae feed, and shortly thereafter form cocoons around themselves. After emerging from the cocoon, the adult fly has sex, lays eggs and dies.

From the cunt, the larvae can migrate to human males, and they often do it too. This is one of the reasons why sex with a menstruating woman is a bad idea. Because, although cunt flies are not harmful to humans, they really are a nuisance. Larval cunt flies, or maggots, have no true legs, and often little demarcation between the thorax and abdomen. This does not hinder them from crawling onto a man's cock during fucking, and cocooning under the foreskin. During this phase, the larvae mostly eat smegma.

The larvae are almost impossible to notice: they have the ability of changing color to match their surroundings, much like chameleons do. The only way to spot a cunt fly larva on the cock is to get a raging hard-on, and then slap your cock really hard so that it wilts and changes color quicker than the larva can imitate. Then you can kill it by dropping a tiny drop of nitric acid on it. Pepper spray will also fuck the larva up, but won't kill it. That nitric acid works is a clear sign of the comparable harmlessness of cunt flies. The shit of the larvae will cause cancer, though.

Sometimes larvae of cunt flies crawl up the urethra and find their way to the balls. They will then cocoon there, and emerge later as adult cunt flies. This can be annoying. Also, shoving a cunt fly larvae in your pee-hole or your lady harp may give you leprosy. The adult insect is virtually harmless.