Long nose
Long nose syndrome is a physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual disease created by God to punish those who he decides he doesn't like. This disease is typically found on witches, wooden dolls, jew-
Excuse me, what do you mean "long noses are a disease"? It's perfectly natural.[edit | edit source]
Excussseeee me! I'm in the middle of writing this wonderful Uncyclopedia article! Also, it is not natural! I hope you fall into your stew, you creepy old lady!
Plus, what are you doing here? I haven't seen you in my life, nor do I care about you.
Oh, you twit! You ought to be ashamed of yourself![edit | edit source]
I feel ashamed when I want to, and this is not the time. The only time I'm ashamed is when I finish masturbating, and I have to clean my stupid hands. I hate it when it gets on my shirt too! Especially my favorite ones. My poor Weezer shirt... Wait, what were we talking about again?
...
Oh, right! Your stupid long nose is really stupid!
You little brat! I summon a curse on you![edit | edit source]
I could care less about a little curse. What, you're going to give me webbed feet? I'd love to be a duck. Oh, wait! You're going to make my penis drag on the ground! Maybe... aughh...
...
Sorry, I was jerking off in my head. It felt nice.
Anyways, what will you do to me? No fingers? Tiny eyes? Bad hearing? Rapunzel hair?
Your favorite shirts will be...cum stained. Hehehehe![edit | edit source]
...seriously? That's the punishment? Wait, oh god! That's the curse? What did I do to deserve this?!?! Anything but that! I swear! I'll trim your pubes! I'll buy crack for you! Please! ANYTHING!!!! Look, I don't really mean anything bad about your nose. It's just some dark humor, that a person only like me would get. I guess you could say I have a superior mindset. You see, because of my mindset, I don't have any friends. No one that I've ever seen has had the mindset just like me.
Please?
One more try?
Goddamnit.
Skadee, skaburt, your dick juice is on your shirts![edit | edit source]
Fuck! I don't even like this shirt, why is it on there? Can't I atleast wash them?
Of course not! The only way to break the curse is to have sex with me.[edit | edit source]
Ew! I'm not having sex with a dirty old hag, get out of my house! I'll deal with this myself. mrph... stupid... twat... motherfucker...
See also[edit | edit source]
Excuse me? Why are you still in my house? What is that supposed to mean? GET OUT!!!