Leng

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There has been a great deal of confusion over Leng, or the Lost Continent of Leng, as it is commonly referred to. It's common to conflate it with Atlantis (they're both lost, after all). That's wrong, however. In fact, a fact which is little known outside the circles of the Illuminati is that the correct name for it is last, not lost, continent of Leng.

The confusion apparently arose due to the use of the Merovingian alphabet in a some of the earliest documents in which it's described. The 'a' and 'o' characters look identical in that script, save for a tiny blip which could easily be mistaken for a flyspeck. This was never a problem for the ancient Merovingians, as they lived in a desert where there were no flies. However, modern archeologists, working with documents which had been stored for centuries in Ethiopia (to which they were carried for preservation during the fall of Merovingia) are not so lucky and are sometimes tripped up in the most unfortunate ways by the thick clouds of flies which ... where was I going with this, anyway?

Rejoining our heroes, we find that they're engaged in a discussion of the Last Continent of Leng. The point to be made here is that it is not, in fact, sufficient to call it the last continent of Leng, for it is more precisely known as the first and last continent of Leng. The reason for this is that it was the first continent to exist, even before Pangea, and, according to a prophecy found inscribed on the inside of a narrow-necked urn discovered in an Etruscan burial site, it will be the last continent to exist, as well. If it doesn't quite exist just now, well, that's just a passing phase.

What's more, it's worth noting in passing that Leng is referred to in the Bible. It's not widely known, but when Jesus asserted that the first will be last, he was, in fact, talking about the continent of Leng, which is both first and last.

All of this is sufficiently confusing that it should come as no surprise that a number of famously confusing, or confused, items actually originated on Leng.

  • An apatasaurus named Louise, surrounded by confused humans
    The Apatosaurus, or "Deceptive Lizard", evolved on the continent of Leng. It is known for playing the most long-term practical joke in history, in which it confused a group of paleontologists who were born millions of years after all Apatosauruses had died out.
  • Dodo carrying seeds to Africa
    S. Confusa, commonly believed to have originated in Africa, actually first appeared on Leng, and only later took root in Africa after its seeds were carried there by migrating dodos, which used them as a form of currency. In fact, this is the first known use of anything as 'currency' in the animal world.
  • The confused flower beetle originated on Leng, where many of the flowers are chronically confused as well. (The beetle is often confusedly called the confused flour beetle but that makes no sense. It's really just a spelling mistake. After all, when was the last time you saw any confused flour?)

Anyway this is probably as much information on the subject as you can absorb just now, so I'll stop here.