Hyperthermia

“Once I met a hot guy. Poor dude worked outside under the sun and suffered from Hyperthermia”

~ Oscar Wilde on Hyperthermia

“The best way to make hot dogs is to put a dog in a car in the summer heat and wait it to die from Hyperthermia”

~ Gordon Ramsey on Hyperthermia

Hyperthermia (Pronunciation: /ˈhaɪpə(ɹ)ˈθɜː(ɹ)mi.ə/) is a disease from being VERY VERY HOT inside. It occurs when outside is VERY VERY HOT and it heats your insides. Hyperthermia is responsible for the deaths of babies and dogs left in automobiles without AC. Hyperthermia is different from a fever, because it is like being in a furnace, while fever is being the furnace.

A typical Hyperthermia Patient. Note the patient's entire body being immolated.

Hypothermia is a cooler and better mental illness, which Canadians and film industries prefer.

Etymology

The word Hyperthermia is generated from the Greek language because calling it heat stroke was not scientific enough. It did not work, Hyperthermia is still less known than its cold counterpart Hypothermia and often confused with it.

• Hyper-: high, above, superior, dominant.
• Therme: heat, from root word "Thermos"
• -ia: feminine suffix, similar to the Japanese -chan.

Considering these, suffering from Hyperthermia is not suitable for kids. However, infants and young children in automobiles still insist to die from it.

Signs and symptoms

One of the main symptoms of hyperthermia, is a VERY, VERY HOT body temperature. People with hyperthermia often look really hot and wet.

People with hyperthermia can faint in random places like public restrooms or brothels.

It can literally cook your insides, destroy your brain and proteins and make you permanently uhh uhm... dumb. So kids, do not stay in the sun or you will go crazy. Same goes for the cold but the crazy and death are not permanent.

Paradoxical dressing

As opposed to Hypothermia's paradoxical undressing, people with Hyperthermia tend to wear more layers in heat. They haven't found the reason but scientific research suggests that people with Hyperthermia may want to be even hotter, hotter, HOTTER AND HOTTER.

Treatment

There is no known cure for hyperthermia. Cold water immersion would trigger shivering which in turn causes more heat generation. Antipyretics won't work since it is not fever.

Once hot, always hot. What's wrong with being hot and dumb anyway?

History

Hyperthermia was probably invented by the Arabs or Indians as a HOT solution for overpopulation.

Prehistoric era

Scientists have estimated that the Dinosaur Genocide might be related to Hyperthermia at some point. The most accepted theory is that the Earth overheated due to the fat assteroid and the high temperatures killed the dinosaurs.