Freddie Freaker
Freddie Freaker is a supernatural being that is hell bent on scamming the entire United States of America.
Physical Appearance[edit | edit source]
Freddie Freaker looks like a yellow gremlin.
Origin Theories[edit | edit source]
Some say Freddie Freaker was the product of a Nazi biological experiment in 1944 in a last ditch effort to stop the Americans from winning World War 2. He would be used to scam every person in the mainland United States which would bring about economic instability and bring about the downfall of the U.S.
Others say he was the result of when Jake the Dog and a gremlin decided to have unprotected sex in a rundown truck-stop bathroom. Jake had the baby (which is Freddie) and they didn't like what they saw so they threw the fucker in a ditch and called it a day. Then he went on to live a life of crime in the Mafia and rose to the top and started the ultimate goal of scamming the entire nation to become filthy-fucking rich like Donald Trump.
Some Christians say he is demon or something, but they say that about everything they don't like and I don't think they like paying two dollars a call.
Some Lions mate over 50 times a day
Nevertheless, Freddie Freaker's origins are still as of yet unknown by archeologists. "I've tried to call him for weeks to see if I could ask him about his origins, but the fucker won't shut the hell up about some 2 dollars I have to pay to talk to him. I finally obliged to get him to shut up, but I really wasn't gonna pay him shit. I thought he was going to talk about his origins but turns out it was a Scientology recruitment ad in disguise. GOD DAMN HE IS QUITE THE SCAMMER." -Archeologist, Dr. Indiana Jones on Freddie Freaker's origins
First Known Appearance[edit | edit source]
Freddie Freaker first came into the public eye when he first appeared on a shitty TV ad he made in the 1980s. He told viewers to call him at the number 1-900-490-FREAK and pay 2 dollars a call to ask him anything. Soon people everywhere were getting scammed by Freddie Freaker. He would give them false information and then TAKE their 2 dollars!! (Such an asshat! I mean really 2 fucking bucks is a shit load of cash! I worked five hours a night as a truck-stop stripper for that shit BUT THE FUCKFACE STOLE IT!) After the first airing in North America, Freddie Freaker's commercial went viral and millions of incidents of people being scammed worldwide occurred. This was soon dubbed as the "Freddie Freaker" phenomenon where Freddie's advert would air in a random country and scam millions over the phone at least ONCE every two years. This would repeat every decade until 2017 when an entirely new incident occurred.
The Griffin's Living Room Incident of 2017[edit | edit source]
Everyone thought Freddie Freaker's scamming went dormant around the 2000s due to the fact he rarely ever scammed anyone. Freaker was only scamming two people every month and sometimes if you called him the telephone number didn't even exist. Many thought Freddie Freaker was getting tired of scamming and his days of scamming came to a close, but this was proven false. In 2017 it was reported that Freddie Freaker had done a terrible act that would live in infamy for the rest of time. He had danced naked in the living room of the Griffin family. Peter and Lois Griffin, the parents of three children and a dog, told the story of Freddie Freaker breaking into their house and doing his famous "Dance Freak Dance" first seen in his adverts in the middle of the living room. "It was very scary!", says Peter. "He just start dancing naked in the middle of the room, then he ran naked into the kitchen and ate all the sugar and I asked him if he ate the sugar and he said: "No papa." I asked him if he was lying and he said he wasn't. I then proceeded to ask him to open his mouth and he laughed as he revealed HE HAD EATEN ALL OUR SUGAR! The biggest scare was when he started pole dancing naked on our mailbox!"
The story was proven to be true, as Freddie was caught in broad daylight breaking the front window of the Griffin house and stealing over 3,000,000 vintage bitcoins and someone's Playboy magazine. He was also seen pole dancing on the mailbox before fleeing the scene which supports Peter's story. However, Freddie Freaker said in an interview that this never happened. This incident shocked the world and proved once and for all that Freaker was back, however it would be for a short time and after 2017 his activities yet again ceased.
The Cult of Freddie Freaker[edit | edit source]
The Cult of Freddie Freaker is a religious group that worships Freddie Freaker. They believe that one day Freaker will return and save them from their sins by scamming the whole nation once and for all and that his dormancy is only him preparing for a cataclysmic event they call "The Great Scamming".
Freddie Freaker apparently is the prophet and God of this religion according to High-priest Ben Dover of the Cult of Freddie Freaker. Their holy book the Freak'an says that the universe was created by Freddie Freaker when he proposed the to the Christian God: God to make the universe and really this was the biggest scam of all because now God had to take care of us humans and the stupid shit we do sent God into depression. Damn, Freddie is such a troll. This organization is still active with over 500,000 active members, and have held many public rallies. There members can be identified by the Freddie Freaker themed merchandise they dawn sold by Oney plays. If you wish to contact them: call them at 1-900-490-SCAM or visit their website: www.freakcult.scam.