Frasers Grant
Frasers Grant is an unincorporated place in Nova Scotia, Canada. If you find yourself in Frasers Grant, you have most likely missed a turnoff at least 700 kilometres back. Once you realize that you have severely miscalculated, it will be too late; the tourism comittee, headed by Old Man MacLeod and the missus, will invite you in for a spot o' Keith's and a sittin'. But if you don't mind the enthusiasm, stop by a few of the unincorporated place's few sights, like the place where a saw mill could have been built, or nearby 'Edderdon. Frasers Grant is also known for being a boomtown. The population has tripled over the last decade and is now at "3". This spike in growth is most likely due to the 1998 construction of a world class hole.
Location[edit | edit source]
Frasers Grant is approximately 1200 km west of Toronto. Even though it is an unincorporated place, it has definitely been put on the map in recent years!
History[edit | edit source]
Frasers Grant is known for its rich, historic past, in which there were many a gunfight, like when Old Man MacLeod had a seven hour standoff with a fierce and mischievous beaver. But the most important chapter in Frasers Grant history is how it got the name. The story begins in a forgotten era known as "the 30's" when two clans-- the Grants and the Frasers-- were feuding. The fighting lasted for an entire month, and at the end, after the Frasers had opened several cans of whoop-ass upon the Grants, it seemed there would only be one Grant left in Frasers Grant (which was then a corner of 'Edderdon that most thought was a large rabbit colony). The leader of the Frasers, Old Man MacLeod, let his guard down and pitied the remaining Grant, so rather than driving him away to The 'Nish to be with his family, he took him in as a slave. As the story of the feud became known throughout the county, the slave became known as Fraser's Grant. The Grant worked for 5 years and was then cast off to sea despite his good health. In 1948, an optimistic young land developer came to Nova Scotia and purchased what he thought was a large rabbit colony in a small corner of 'Edderdon. Being an upstanding and enterprising citizen, he did not bother checking what was really in the area and got straight to bulldozing it all down. It was just a day later that he heard the story of the Grants and the Frasers, and he was so deeply sorry that he had bulldozed so much history that he named the 500 lots "Frasers Grant". To this day, over two of those lots have been sold, and 17 of them have been taken up by a real rabbit colony.
Attractions[edit | edit source]
- World Class Hole
- Memorial to the Fraser's Grant, written on the back of a Valentine card, with the blood of a squirrel
- Former home of the subject of a mildly contreversial article in the local paper
- Nearby 'Edderdon
- Nearby The Nish
- Road that leads directly to the road that leads directly to Cape Breton
- Place where a saw mill could have been built
- Old Man MacLeod
- A boutique mainly selling thumbtacks and widely regarded as "a deserted outhouse".
- A Really Big Tree that was shipped in from Detroit by a wealthy roof-dwelling pigeon
How to Get There[edit | edit source]
By now, you're definitely thinking, It appears there is a monkey-themed restaurant. I wish to go there. But what you really mean is, Let's go to Frasers Grant. Well, hold your horses. You cannot just go to Frasers Grant. You must earn your place. Many achieve Frasers Grantity by watching an awful movie for at least 45 minutes. At this point, a tall man will step out of the TV and introduce himself as the Jimster. Reply by saying, Delicious fish 3 times. The Jimster will taunt and aggravate you in an always clever and creative way, and before you know it, you're in Frasers Grant. Congratulations. Now that you're here, you'll probably be thinking, How do I get out of here? It's really quite simple. Now you will drive west and arrive at an airport within 3 hours. Tickets cost $300. Old man MacLeod thanks you in advance for your generous contribution, reminds you to buy a thumbtack before leaving, and orders you to buy another thumbtack before leaving.