Euler's laws of motion
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| Euler's Laws of Motion | |
|---|---|
 Poster of the hit 1720 film Euler's Laws of Motion | |
| Directed by | Francis Ford Coppola |
| Produced by | Francis Hauksbee |
| Screenplay by | Euler |
| Story by | Based on a true story |
| Starring | Leonhard Euler, Isaac Newton. |
| Music by | Philip Glass |
| Cinematography | Euler's friend |
Release date | July 15, 1720 |
Running time | 195 minutes |
| Country | UK |
| Language | English |
| Budget | $107.25 |
| Box office | $45.3 million (Not adjusted for inflation. This was in the 1700's, I have no idea what the exchange rate was, leave me alone.) |
Euler's Laws of Motion is a 1720 Swiss action/documentary film directed by Francis Ford Coppola starring Leonhard Euler and Isaac Newton, based on real events, in which Euler steals Newton's Laws of Motion for his own use. Euler's Laws of Motion (ELoM) is Leonhard Euler's debut film, making his distinct style known to the world and getting him recognition as a physicist and mathematician. The film follows Euler's escapades and documents his mission to steal Newton's Three Laws of Motion. The genesis of ELoM came about when Euler read about Newton's laws and became quite jealous. When it premiered, ELoM redefined the action genre, and is thought to be a major influence for the 1996 action-spy film starring Tom Cruise, titled Get Smart. ELoM also pioneered the film industry seeing as it was the first film ever made.
Euler's huge ego led to many embellishments in the film; blurring the line between the film's plot-line and actual events.
“This piss-ant guy, "Newton" is nothing special. Wait 'till they get a taste of my motion!”
“Wait, there's an idea! I'll make a motion picture.”
Plot[edit | edit source]
ELoM opens with a shot of Euler sitting at his desk writing on a piece of parchment. A carrier pigeon drops a piece of parchment in Euler's lap. Euler opens the piece of parchment which reads: "Dear Leonhard, I just invented physics. Up yours. -Sir Isaac Newton." Euler had recently been working on his own version of physics, but had found the process frustrating. He crumples the piece of parchment he was writing on (his most recent attempt) and walks to the nearest payphone paypigeon, where he composes a letter to his good friend who works in the spy-gear industry. For the low price of $107.25, Euler is able to procure a compass, protractor, laser pointer, knife, silenced pistol, ghillie suit, radon detector, radon emitter, fighter plane, battle ship, and Taekwondo lessons from the really nice dōjō down the street. Euler plans to make his way to England and steal the Law's of Motion written by Newton, but first he needs some way to get there. He uses the battle ship he purchased and sails to England.
Upon reaching the English shore, Euler gets right to work. Equipped with his protractor, he launches a one-man secret super spy physics assault on Newton's home. Euler makes his way to Newton and finds him sitting in his living room. Seeing his big opportunity, Euler attempts to make a finger-gun to shoot Newton but forgets how to point his fingers in the the classic finger-gun style, and instead fumbles for a few minutes. Eventually Euler creates what he thinks is the proper finger-gun gesture. He aims, but his fingers just go "clk clk". The clicking gets Newton's attention and he turns around to see Euler making the exact sign of his secret gang.
Critical reception[edit | edit source]
Elisabeth Christine of Brunswick-Wolfenbüttel's review[edit | edit source]
Critics panned the film upon its release. "Panned" being a phrase back then which meant, "though was really cool." The film received it's most important review from Elisabeth Christine of Brunswick-Wolfenbüttel who made the film known to the public by formatting her newspaper review as a passionate love-letter to Euler. This caught the eye of Euler and he immediately sent her a response in the form of an oil painting of himself giving her a cheeky wink. This proved to be quite effective and Elisabeth Christine of Brunswick-Wolfenbüttel asked Euler over for dinner. He declined saying, "I'm sorry my dear Elisabeth Christine of Brunswick-Wolfenbüttel, but I'm married to physics." She published a second review praising Euler for his dedication to physics which only brought ELoM higher on the chart of most-watched movies. Being both first and last on the list since it was the first film ever made.
Praise of mise en scene[edit | edit source]
Critics praised ELoM for it's ground-breaking story-telling and story-breaking ground shots, of which there were many. The critic consensus seemed to be "What is this?", "Why is this picture moving?", "What is a motion picture?", "What are laws of motion?", and "I'm so confused." Good stuff. It was especially impressive since Euler literally invented the motion pictures just to make ELoM.
Invention of the camera[edit | edit source]
Founding of the Camera Company Foundry and legal issues[edit | edit source]
Adventurous though Euler was, he nearly gave up on his project on discovering that motion pictures had not yet been invented. Luckily, Euler knew of a man named Francis Ford Coppola (FFC) who was willing to help him with the "camera" device. Together Euler and FFC founded a company to build cameras under, by name of "the Camera Company Foundry" (CCF). Progress was slow, so Euler and FFC began looking for young people looking for work. They eventually were approached by the Civilian Conservation Corps (CCC), an organization dedicated to finding work for unemployed, unmarried men. This was perfect and soon they hand many hands making very light work. Finally the first prototype was finished and was capable of shooting up to 5.6 minutes of film before needing to cool down. Anticipation in the group was rising as the deadline for ELoM approached. Wanting to get everything done ahead of time, Euler and FFC contacted the Freedom Film Fest (FFF) and pre-entered their film into the festival.
In 1719, Euler and his group got in legal trouble with the Federal Communications Commission (FCC) for their company not being up to code. Always the resourceful man, Euler quickly sent a pigeon-message to his good lawyer-friend, James Willard Hurst. In the message, he also CC'ed the FFC in the pigeon-message which read, "The FCC has asked the CCF to stop all work with the CCC and asks that the FFC withdraw from the FFF before the FCC is forced to take actions on the CCF, CCC, and FFF, as wells as any individuals involved (Including FFC). Please help us, Hurst. -Euler" Luckily, this pigeon-message reached Hurst just in time, and he was able to challenge the FCC to a duel, costing him his own life, but winning Euler and Coppola the right to continue their film.