Donald Trump's Report Card

University of Pennsylvania

STUDENT TRANSCRIPT

Semester: SPRING 1967

Year: JUNIOR

Major: ECONOMICS

Subject	Grade	Teacher's Comment
ECON 2020 MANAGERIAL ECONOMICS	D+	Donald struggled to understand basic ideas in managerial economics. He kept proposing business goals that were antithetical to the material taught and insisted they were "the best trade deals in history". Admittedly, he actually did manage to sell, despite the fact that no self-respecting human being would ever want to buy his products.	ECON 2020: Trump once proposed to stick his face into a brand of meats and sell it as Trump Steaks. I told him that was a horrible idea, but he didn't listen.
ECON 2030 INTERNATIONAL TRADE	F	Donald did not show up to a single class session. He appeared in class for the first time during the final exam and wrote "I'd just call their president" in response to each question.	ECON 2030: Donald refused to make any deals with Mexico, saying that we "should protect our money from those smelly foreigners".
ENGL 1045 INTRODUCTION TO POETRY	A	Donald was an outstanding poetry student. He showed great creativity and strong oral presentation skills. Perhaps he'll change his major to English and become a poet! He would be very welcome in my Advanced Poetry Writing class next fall.	ENGL 1045: Trump's skill in poetry has made the girls in class fall in love with him, giving him the nickname "Ladies' Man".
ENVS 1000 INTRODUCTION TO ENVIRONMENTAL SCIENCE	C-	After a solid start to the semester, Donald stopped taking this class seriously, once he realized that "environmental science" is not, in fact, the science of destroying the environment.	ENVS 1000: Trump seemed surprised when we told him that his "solution for all enviromental issues" wasn't going to work.
HIST 1280 FASCISM AND WORLD WAR II	B+	Donald is a puzzle. In one respect he is brilliant, in another one might wonder how he managed to enter an Ivy League school. He received A's on most exams and papers and memorized content easily, showing his academic intelligence. However, he seemed very interested in Adolf Hitler and grossly misinterpreted his actions both in essays and in class discussions. I recall that one day he showed up to our class screening of Triumph of the Will with popcorn and laughed during many serious scenes, as well as saying that he sympathized with the villain during a lecture about World War 2. I cannot tell whether he is being ironic and attempting to entertain his classmates or he genuinely believes these ideas.	HIST 1280: Trump once attended class dressed like this and started doing the nazi salute whenever we were talking about Hitler.
RELS 1504 INTRODUCTION TO ISLAM	C	Donald did not take this class seriously. He yelled "wrong!" in the middle of lectures and seemed very mistrustful of his peers. His final essay was excellent and I gave him an A on it just to pass him, but I think he hired someone else to write it for him.	RELS 1504: Trump showed me this picture after class once, telling me that the first thing he would do if he was a dictator would be to "arrest all those idiot Muslims and beat them up so bad."
RUSS 1400 RUSSIAN IV	A	Donald was an exemplary student. He worked hard to learn the language this semester and was always willing to work with his peers. I predict them continuing a relationship for years to come.	RUSS 1400: From the beginning of class, Donald was eager to tell us how he loved the KGB so much. This adoration for the Russian government caused him to be my classes's earliest graduate.
WH 2010 BUSINESS ETHICS	D	Donald managed to barely pass this class despite not possessing any apparent moral compass. I pray that he does not enter a position of power like President of the United States.	WH 2010: When I asked Donald to do an assignment on slavery, all he gave me was this LEGO set with the caption: Daddy tending to 'dem negros.