Bullshit Bandito

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The Bullshit Bandito!
The Crap-o-Meter

The Bullshit Bandito (b. May 4, 1937) is a stylish hombre of Mexican decent. The first time he was utilized was in "UnNews" when he served to comment on the following article: UnNews:Unites_States_Air_Force_Unveils_Newest_Stealth_Fighter_Plane He served to replace the non-kids friendly "Crap Meter" , both of which were created by a very handsome devil-of-a-writer. However, if one so chooses, one has full license to utilize either of the two.

Swiped from Google Images on the 5th. of September, 2008, it is the hope of the writer that 'The Bullshit Bandito' will be used when the written word is delivered falsely though as a most sincere form of the warm, hopefully formed, mass that it is.

"The Bullshit Bandito" is not alone in the world. Nay, he has familia! Tios (Uncles and Aunts), Abuelos (Grandparents), Primos (Cousins), Hijos (Brothers and Sisters), Ninos (Children), and Amigos (Friends). Other casual collquialisms of an extended familia also serve to aid the avid reader in acknowleding when their chain is being 'yanked'.

Granny Gross[edit | edit source]

Granny Gross says "Eww!"

Young at heart though sour of disposition, this crotchety old fart Granny Gross serves to warn readers that what they are reading is, well, gross. As in "Yuck!" or "Yucky!". "Eww!" works well too. Granny's fine, firm legs serve to remind young men what their girlfriends will look like in 60 years. Her robust chest is the kind of bosom the Gods ate olives off of-2000 years ago. Ripe with flavor and full of fun, Granny's always ready with an opinion as to how distasteful an article truly is.

Cool as a Cucumbero!

The Cool Cucumbero[edit | edit source]

The Cool Cucumbero is the coolest Pachuco you ever met! Once more, he's probably the ONLY Pachuco you've ever met. Come to think of it, you've never even MET a Pachuco, now have you? The Pachuco blossomed in Lost Angeles in the 30's. The epitome of hipness and coolness, this stylish hombre had two tell tale identifiers; 1) He wore a Zoot Suit, 2) He didn't walk, he waaalked. So when an article just kinda sliiides in there and makes you wanna make a fist with your hand and act like you're pull-starting a lawn mower slowly while saying "Oh yeaaah!", it's the little Cool Cucumbero in you bubbling to the surface. I bet you didn't know you had a little cucumber in you! Now if I could only find my keys we could drive outta here.


Confusious[edit | edit source]

Born when? He don't know! From where? He don't know! Where's he going again? He don't know that either! When you or your article don't know where you're going and don't know where you been, you just like 'Confusious'-he don't know either! "You so Confusious!" "I so Confusious!"