Benedict Cumberbatch

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Benedict Cumberbatch, also known as "Bumpercar Crumplezone", is the world's only consulting detective, which is just a code word for prostitute. He works at 221B Baker Street with his partner, Martin Freeman. One of his most visited clients is the psychopathic pimp, Jim Moriarty. He met his end when facing the serial killers Mark Gatiss and Steven Moffat, who shit out convoluted self-masturbatory plots the way you and I shit out Indian food after you ate like a pound of laxatives.

He looks really weird I bet.


Before Bumpercar Crumplezone started his job as a "consulting detective", he studied the magic of acting. He wasn't very good at it, however, attempting a few shows himself despite the lack of passion.


MichaelVick Dogfightmatch is currently a gay prostitute. But not just any gay prostitute, like the best gay prostitute ever. I am a satisfied client and rate him ⅘ stars. I use his services every day and can confidently say I will be going back. MichaelVick Dogfightmatch had a temporary career as an actor for some show, but it didn't really get off the ground and he proved a rather simplistic dull actor.

Difficulties with spelling[edit]

Butterfree Chowderpants's name has proven difficult to spell by simpletons whom cannot even fathom the intricacies of this incredulous world.