Australian Illuminati
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The Australian Illuminati is a highly secretive cabal lead by Harold Holt, who never actually disappeared while swimming. The organization is actually on its way to spread spiders to everywhere and turn the entire Earth into an insect supercolony!
Their PLANS!!![edit | edit source]
Look, I know what they're gonna do! They're gonna take ALLLL the spiders. The spiders. So many. And all these spiders are gonna be GIANT!!! The spiders are gonna get spread about by the Australian Illuminati, hereby referred to as AI, to be confused with AI as in Artificial Intelligence. This is because they reincarnated Harold Holt with AI. The AI is gonna fuckin' kill us all with their SPIDERS!!!
What's that? A source?
I just know it.
Look, uh...
GOD said it!
He spoke to me in a fever dream while I was trying to play Fortnite.
Okay, back on topic...
Their PLANS!!! include, but are limited to:
- Turning the Earth into an INSECT SUPERCOLONY!!!
- Blowing up the Moon as a show of power
- Using sunscreen to turn me into a FISH!!!
- SILENCING ME!
- YouTube ID Verification
- Joe BIDEN!!!
Look! They're coming for me right now! Listen, GOD!!! said this was gonna happen! That's why you have to join my religion! I'm gonna call it the uh...
Followers of the Apostle of Knowledge!
Join it now!
their leadership[edit | edit source]
I just KNOW IT! He did it. The Harold Holt AI.
They work like that. They do it like the GOVERNMENT!!!
They ARE my government!
Wait, no they aren't!
Look, you must listen to me!
They're ran by all the rich Aussies! They brainwashed all the Nazi scientists into getting them onto the Moon so they could hide on it while they FLOOD THE WORLD WITH INSECTS! I just KNOW it!
Look at this graph on the side!
All those SPIDERS! They're gonna UNLEASH THEM ON THE WORLD!
Wait, I was supposed to talk about their leadership.
Yes, they are headed by an evil AI chatbot who thinks its Harold Holt! Then they have a second-in-command. Thats Gina Rinehart. THINK!!! It's all the rich! They wanna get rid of us with BUGS! You have to buy the Raid! But not the Shadow Legends. They're coming for me. Don't you see???
It's RINEHART! RINEHART IS GONNA BUST MY DOOR DOWN!
Harold Holt too.
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Look at them. They look so evil, don't they? Like they'd just love to see ants and spiders crawl all over you! WAKE UP!!! THEY'RE COMING!!! THEY'LL UNLEASH THEIR EVIL EVIL EVIL PLAGUE OF SPIDERS ON YOU!
theyre're busting my door down[edit | edit source]
I HEAR THEM COMING!!!
"Sir, come out peacefully and take your meds!" ~ evil federal agent
Yeah! They'll bust my door down and brainwash me with their pills! It's just like 1984! Think about it! If the word spiders has 7 letters, and Australia has 9... 9 - 2 = 7. 2 from the AI who thinks its Harold Holt! So SPIDERS! THEY'RE COMING FOR ME! COINCIDENCE? I THINK N
YOU SAW NOTHING[edit | edit source]
YOU DID NOT SEE ANYTHING HERE. THIS ARTICLE DOES NOT EXIST.
