Adam Conover

Adam Conover, born as Adam Comb-over, (1852-2018) was a stupid man who would constantly ruin things that we would know as true.

Nope you got that wrong!

Oh no, don't tell me you're...

Hi, I'm Adam Conover, and this is Adam Ruins everything.

Now, my name is Adam Conover, but I wasn't born in 1852, or die in 2018, because that arbitrary timeline, you would've made me 166 years old, 44 years LONGER than the oldest person to ever exist, Jeanne Calment. I was really born in 1983, and I'm not stupid, I mean, sure I was the only family to never get a PhD, but a got a bachelor in Philosophy at Bard College, the same college Jonah Hill went to. Plus, what do you mean "we would know as true" those things are false.

Ok, sure, whatever. Let's just continue on.

Early Life

Fine, Adam Conover was born on March 2, 1983, the same day as International Genderflip Cartoon Characters Day. In Boobersfield, Western New California to Arnold Pinkinlooper Conover, a hillbilly, and Marie Mario Conover (nee: Raaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaraaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa) a poop-scooper.

Wrong again, there is no such thing as Western New California, and if there was, it would be call West New California. Plus, Boobersfield, really? There's no city in the world named that. It's also rude of you to call my parents that, my dad David Conover, is a Marine Biologist where, mind you, was Dean of the School of Marine and Atmospheric Sciences from 2003-2010. My mom, Margaret, on the other hand, is a botanist. I also have a sister, Emily, who holds a PhD in particle physics. One final thing, Uncyclopedia's example of Genderflip Cartoon Characters Day is of Guy Fieri, who isn't a cartoon character, but did play a character on Phineas and Ferb. Which was a cartoon.

Career

Err! Alright, ok. Adam Conover... uh... Created the mind-melting, brain destroying, show: Adam Ruins Everything on fakeTV, where he... kills black people and... kisses... Hitler?

Man, you guys are uncreative. My TV show is on truTV and would never destroy brains, well, except for constant mind blowing *pew* Plus, the only person I would kiss, is my current partner, Lisa Hanawalt, known for creating the Netflix original, Tuca & Bertie in which, I actually play a character!

Oh yeah, which one?

*sighs* Big_Hairy_Stallion69.

Ha! Really?

Yes. Do you have anything else to lie about?

No, I quit.