Furries

Catgirls, Hentai and furries, Oh my! This page contains catgirls, hentai and/or furries and is not safe for human consumption. If caught reading this page, roll over and play dead.

Yeah the cat thing is weird, but the cage is just fucked up overkill.

“Well it’s not a question of wanting to be a mouse – it just sort of happens to you. All of a sudden you realize ... that’s what you want to be.”

~ Monty Python

Furryism is a severe mental condition in which a furry person (members of the furry fandom are known as furry fans, furries, or furs) self-identifies as a member of an animal species. Furryism often manifests itself as an agonizing dysphoria toward one's birth species. If untreated, it can sometimes lead to fursuiting, which will often begin in local zoos, where potential furry suitors for courting abound.

Furryism is contracted at childhood. If your child comes in contact with a costume character or mascot, plays with a stuffed animal, or watches a movie or television show with talking animals they will inevitably become a furry. There is no full cure, but some are led to believe that Hentai can halt the effects of Furryism, although if used too much this will cause the afflicted child to become Wapanese.

As of 1981 hunting furries for their pelts is arguably illegal in 48 of the United States – but in Hawaii and Alaska nobody cares if you spray a machine gun at a furry convention.

Yiff

The infamous foxy lady whom Jimi Hendrix was always singing about

Literally furry hentai. The population of Hentai is related to the overpopulation of people, which contributes to the Furry and Banned media strains.

Film stars and superheroes

About seventy percent of furries gain super powers from their fursuits, such as the ability to watch Hentai without vomiting and to read furry-comics without laughing. Super-furries include Batman (bat), Spiderman (spider), Catwoman (cat) and a superhero with the dick of an ox (other).

Han Solo's best buddy Chewbacca is also a dedicated furry, rarely seen outside of his fursuit.

Those who don't become superheroes often gain employment as baseball mascots, genetics engineers, professional losers, IT workers, theme-park entertainers, or handing out free samples outside stores.

Organizations

The most notorious furry organization is PETA, whose exhibitionist members often show off their bizarre perversion in public.

Many believe that the furry community may also have a deep-seated allegiance with such hotels as the The Red Roof Inn and Best Western, as these fine lodgings are where they hold many of their Fur Conventions ("Cons"). Or maybe they're just attracted to perpetually hot meth towns.

Subspecies

↗ He feels like a horse's arse.

• Catgirls
• Girlcats
• Amphibians
• Scalies
• Aeromorphs
• Animorphs
• Protogents
• Inanimate furries
• Taurs
• PokeFurs
• Bronies
• Insect furries
• Avian furries

See also

• Furry tolerance
• UnNews:God hates Furries
• Jimbo Wales' secret life as a furry

Notes

Zoology

Species

• Furry: African giraffe • Baby Seal • Bear (Polar • Bipolar) • Cat (Daemonic • New Hampshire Merchant) • Elephant • Furries • Gazelle • Human • Otter • Sheep • Skunk • Slender Loris • Moose
  Feathery: Birds • Chicken • Homing pigeon • Kingfisher • Peacock
  Scaly: Corn snake • Fish • Goldfish • Salmon

Culture

• ...in history: Bucephalus (horse) • Great Elephant Revolt (2011) • Jaws did WTC • St. Peter's Basilica (reptile)
  ...in sports: Cow tipping • Kitten hurling battle • Kraft Dinner (horse) • Rough Gay Wolf Sex • Seal Clubbing • Water Polo... With Sharks!

• Slimey: Blue-ringed octopus • Frog • Pond Whales • Salamander • Sturgeon • Uterus
  Creepy crawly • Ant • Cockroach • Lobster • Spider • Sun Bee • Wallet moth
  Other: Balloon Animals • Gazebo • Grue • Toaster • Snipes • Womp

Media

• ...in books: Did you ever lock horns with a goat? • The journey of the ugly kitten • The Life and Times of a Cute Little Puppy
  ...in the news: Delicious New Zealand bird... • Political extremism on the rise... • Man wakes up • Wolverine hits the big screen

• ...in science • Antbortion • An infinite number of monkeys with typewriters • Crypto-Zoology • Kinsey Report No. 3: Sexual Behavior in Hamsters • Tapheselachophobia • Whale bones
  ...as food: • Easter Bunny • Firesheep • Frog Semen • Kittens
  

...as... huh? • Kitten Huffing

Media

• ...in film: 001 (guinea pig) • Bi-curious George (monkey) • Donner (reindeer) • Flying Purple People Eater (something) • Garfield (cat) • G Rated Talking Animal Movie (film) • Steve Irwin (animal grabber)

Fundamental Stereotypes

Content Warning: These articles are presented as originally created. They may contain outdated cultural depictions.

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