User talk:DarleneCJoiner

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Oh Dear...[edit source]

Beware! The evil eye is upon thee!

Hello, DarleneCJoiner, and welcome to Uncyclopedia! Unfortunately, we've noticed that your contributions - not to put too fine a point on it - have been crap. Basically, we think you're a spammer/vandal/10-year-old. But don't despair! We have ways to make you talk.. ahem. I mean, there are ways to get you out of this mess.

If you read anything at all, make it the above four links. If you want to find out more about Uncyclopedia or need more help with something, try these:

Good luck and I'm sorry you got off to such a bad start. I hope you enjoy editing here and being an Uncyclopedian! Please sign your name on talk pages using four tildes (~~~~) or use the "sign" button (OOjs UI icon signature-ltr.svg) above the edit box. This will automatically produce your name and the date.

If you need help or think this template has been placed unfairly, please ask me or an admin on their talk page, rather than going bat-fuck-insane. Alternatively you can ask at the Dump, or add the following: {{help}} to this page along with a message and someone will come along and help you if they can. Again, welcome!  -- Simsilikesims(♀UN) Talk here. 01:16, 30 June 2016 (UTC)

Your user page[edit source]

Your user page looks suspiciously like the work of a spambot. However, its topic has potential here. Imagine if you will, catering a wedding where the groom is allergic to chlorophyll (so much for green vegetables) and also allergic to beans and mushrooms, refuses to eat any cooked vegetables, is diabetic (and allergic to aspartame), is on a heart healthy diet requiring no red meat (so much for beef and pork) and a strict dietary limit on the daily intake of sodium, and that's just the groom. The bride is gluten intolerant (so no dishes can be prepared with wheat flour, and anything with wheat barley and rye is out), the bride's sister is allergic to soy, raw apples and carrots and certain nuts like walnuts and hazelnuts, and the niece is allergic to peanuts. The bride's father is also on a sodium-restricted diet. Now try to prepare a menu that you can serve to everyone with about 60 guests, with a wedding cake included that both the bride and groom can eat. Ok, now if you can imagine that experience, write an article about it. -- Simsilikesims(♀UN) Talk here. 01:16, 30 June 2016 (UTC)