User:Tkotse/Current Articles/UnBooks:Christmas With The Skywalkers
December 23rd[edit | edit source]
13:04[edit | edit source]
Many people look forward to Christmas. The giving of presents, the drink, the lazing on your arse in front of the telly. And yet, for the past 6 or 7 years I have had to put up with one shit Christmas after the next. Myself and the wife hardly visit the in-laws anymore anyway, and I hardly think they would be too keen to see us on a regular basis. Not after that year where I pointed out to the mother-in-law that "mother-in-law" is an anagram of "woman hitler". Saying that the good thing about marriage was the kids not having to take the mother's name probably didn't help either. Skywalker? What does that even mean? What, is it Jewish? Love to know who thought that Skywalker was a good surname. Must type it into Google sometime.
15:21[edit | edit source]
I want to punch him in the face. I really, REALLY do. Smarmy little creep. QUIT SMILING AT ME.
I've always thought of him a bachelor, y'know? I mean, he's still single. At about 52 years old. Must be a lonely guy. One year, while I was sitting, watching Match Of The Day, he came in, sat down beside me, and whispered in my ear "I once kissed my sister". Now, not only was that too much information, when I turned, partly in shock, to him, he bit his bottom lip and winked in that sort of "Don't tell anyone. Tee hee." sort of way. I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THESE THINGS.
19:38[edit | edit source]
I can't seem to have a regular conversation with any Skywalker. Everytime I try, one of them must butt in with an "in-reference" and then proceed to tell me about that reference.
Example: Over dinner, I was talking to that aforementioned wank-head about the holiday we took in Cyprus last year.