User:TheSerialClustar3481/Human
 | This page is a work in progress |
“Do you know that humans are the only living species known to man that can talk?”
“I WOULDN'T NEAR ONE IF I WERE YOU!”
“Hey, you think this is funny? You think this is funny, huh pal?”
“You and I are humans.”
“Murder as much of them as possible! They're causing too much pollution!”
Humans, otherwise known as Homo sapiens (meaning "Homosexually vermin" in Latin), are hairless monkeys that are thought to be the most ugly among the animal kingdom. They are renowned for their ability to not move a muscle in just over 24 hours; interestingly, they are physically weaker than other primitive apes, including the smaller chimpanzee.
The homo sapiens idaltu ("Homosexually vermin that is old") subspecies is considered the most populous among the chimps and Dick Cheney, because of community resources against pollution. Despite all of the building and civilization, humans are thought to be not quite as intelligent as a retarded Ooga Booga who cleans his butt with a toothbrush (his mother's). In 1886, Albert Einstein concluded that the humans were in fact the remnant of one other organism on planet Earth (where the humans reside) - a virus.
The Introduction[edit | edit source]
During The Introduction, an event in the evolution of the Earth, the humans eventually split from the gorillas after the male pelvis of the species stated making a strange organism that the great apes were disgusted by: the Neanderthal. This happened about 65 million years ago (after the dinosaurs' reign of terror ended), and the humans immediately developed the ability to speak (and are today known to be adept at a form of racial slur), where Homo sapiens could be commonly heard at the time.
Among the technology from humans is cooking food, wearing clothes, washing their hands, sleeping for more than 10 hours a day, wearing underpants, committing homicide by killing one another, buying a condom and drooling at Starbucks. Around 10,000 years ago or so, a nomadic human adopted a wolf look-alike, which he called a "dog", and later, the Ancient Mayans predicted they would be presented with the ability of fucking up humanity and eliminating the universe, but since it was just primitive nonsense and pointless drivel, sane humans lived on with "man's best friend" for quite a long time. The Homo sapiens started in 4000 B.C. with the first civilized community in Egypt on Earth.
Interactions With Humans[edit | edit source]
During 4001 B.C. and beforehand, humans lived as nomadic hunter-gatherers. In the years after, civilization was the idea that humans were so bored out of their mind they spent over 9 minutes creating the first city near the Nile Valley, and did it very early to fool modern humans into being surprised about it, considering their brain at the time was still so large it couldn't fit inside a gorilla's stomach. Those crazy humans.
Albert Einstein has studied that conditioned male humans are easily overpowered by other ape primates, female orangutans having at least 4 times the upper-body strength of John Henry. But because the influence of humans is too great for them to resist, many animal species have been frequently known to be run over by cars and killed with a small machine called the "9mm". Although the human population is thought to be 6.91 billion (far greater than any other animal or plant on Earth), the virus population is about 50 nonillion in contrast. You couldn't even count the number of of virus germs in your house.
Humans frequently refer to themselves as "people", although it is in fact a subspecies that is highly toxic and poisonous, but fortunately died out around 80,000 years ago. People, like humans, were prone to homicide and hating everyone else.
Diet and Global Warming[edit | edit source]
Insects, fleas, other humans, and bacteria. Humans are lazy and usually don't make attempts on larger living species.