User:Stevetattoos/Dog goo

“It taste real good with toast”

~ Rachael Ray on White dog goo

“Hah! Take that you poor bugger! Try and pilfer from me will you.”

~ Oscar Wilde on throwing Dog goo at the poor

“This is an article about Dog goo, Foo' .”

~ Mr. T on this article

Extremely rare naturally occurring white dog goo.

Dog Goo is the residue left behind after applying a massive centrifugal force on a dog.

It is a very sought after product, with many commercial, medical and culinary uses.

Recently, the potential for power generation has started to be exploited, although the safe disposal of the more distressing by-products of this process have yet to worked out.

Dog goo Production

Dog goo has been manufactured since ancient times, when the amazing properties of this substance was discovered, by accident, in the kerfuffle surrounding the incident involving the well known Greek Nudist Archimedes, and a screw.

Ancient Times

In ancient times, Dog goo was made by trapping dogs in a circular pen, and employing small untidy urchins to run around the pen, dangling a cat in front of the dog, on a pole.

In the resultant excitement after many, many circuits of the pen, fatally exhausting a dozen urchins, the dog finally assplodes, and leaves a residue, the dog goo...

This is then scraped up, by suitably armoured workers, using special goo sporks.

The goo thus produced, is of a very low quality, and is only made usable by a refining process, involving goat semen and retsina.

Uses for Dog goo

Dog goo and Llama pie

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Ingredients

• 250 oz refined Dog goo
• 1 llama, diced
• Squeeze of lime juice
• 1 pack Short cruft pastry
• Half a kumquat

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Method

1. Combine llama and Dog goo in a cement mixer
2. Using Asbestos gloves, carefully slam-dunk the kumquat into the mix
3. Add the lime juice

Construction

Dog goo, fortified with Grits, was used in the construction of the Transamerica Pyramid and Heartbreak Hotel.

It was also used in the construction of a the statue of AAA on Saturn.

Dog goo is also an additive in Builder's Tea.

Medical

The regenerative properties of Dog Goo are totally non-existent. It has no known medical uses, however the Pikachusetts University Hospital have wasted squillions of dollars in totally pointless research.

Culinary

Recipes involving Dog goo are many and varied, with refined Dog goo dishes amongst the most sought after, especially as a Spam substitute.

Well known British teetotaller Delia Smith has published a recipe for Dog goo and Llama pie, which has been voted the Pie most likely to be thrown away for five years running.

Power Generation

Dog goo's use as an energy source is well known, and can be used in a variety of ways.

Conventional

Burning Dog goo is a convenient way of getting power, but the unusual and downright weird by-products are thought to be hastening the advent of Ragnarok. These include Fluffiness and Stalloneium, with traces of Piers Morgan.

All sane countries have put strict limits on the use of this, to counter Global warming. Unfortunately, many countries do not believe in it, trusting in God to put things right.

Protests

There have been many protests against the use and harvesting of Dog goo, with many research and production facilities being targeted by extremists such as PETA, the WSPA] and Lindsey Lohan

See also

• Pie
• Kitten Huffing
• God
• Animal Rights

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