User:Paley/Veg-All
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“Damn, brother! This is some good shit, here!”
“Veg-All doubleplusgood bellyfeel for proles”
“These are Vegetables in a can. They taste good.”
“Engagingly good!”
Veg-All is quite possibly the greatest canned food in existence. Invented in 1927 by a skilled team of scientists, physicists, food experts, and genetic engineers at the University of Cambridge, Veg-All is every single vegetable known to exist in one small, easy to use can. Virtually everyone loves Veg-All, which is why it's such a great food product! It has hearty vitamins such as: Vitamin A, Vitamin B, Vitamin C, and every other vitamin you can even imagine!!! Come with us as we give you a grand tour of how Veg-All is made every day!
Meet our Lovely Staff![edit | edit source]
Veg-All is, of course, made by Veg-All Industries. Veg-All industries was started in order to keep track of the government's exploitation of Veg-All's bad quality and insufficient nutritional value in order to keep the proletariats subdued and to make sure they are not growing in popularity and power! The composition of Veg-All is maintained by the R&D department, which makes sure only the finest vegetables are used in the production of our fine food. Veg-All contains only the freshest and ripe:
It is with this extreme attention to detail that Veg-All prides itself with. Every single vegetable is hand-picked, grown, and checked before it even reaches your dinner table! See, Safety first here a the offices of Veg-All Industries.
Why is Veg-All So Damned Successful?[edit | edit source]
Why do you even ask? The success of Veg-All is only measured by it's exceptional taste and quality! Every can of Veg-All goes through a Nine-step-process in order to make sure every can is safe to eat, and delicious too!
- Step One: Vegetables are harvested.
- Step Two: Vegetables are cleaned in a solution of vinegar and baking soda.
- Step Three: Each Vegetable is given a safety bite by our quality taste testers
- Step Four: Each Vegetable is then washed again in a solution of Aquafina and Semen.
- Step Five: Vegetables are scanned for any pesticides. If any pesticides are found, they are immediately doubled.
- Step Six: Vegetables are then sealed in a lead can with carbon dioxide and nuclear steam.
- Step Seven: Veg-All is then sent to your favorite Supermarket
- Step Eight: You buy Veg-All!
- Step Nine: You enjoy Veg-All with every member of your family!
We hope you have enjoyed this exciting tour of how Veg-All started, how it was made, and how YOU can go buy some RIGHT NOW!!