User:Crocotta1/sandbox
How to plant artificial turf seeds
1. Buy seed from sketchy Chinese guy
Heading text[edit | edit source]
2. Dig a big arse hole in the park somewhere where there is no grass
3. Pour em in
4. Wait ten years
5. Come back and see that you were scammed
Allegheny Avenue[edit | edit source]
Allegheny Avenue is an area in Philly where all the Florida men somehow end up and wave to people as they drive through on your way to a WaWa🦆 for Tastykakes at 3:00am and sometimes even walk up to your car and try to have a conversation with you. This area is also known as the Safari by some. If you stay a while, you will be able to witness alien rituals seen nowhere else on Earth. One of the rituals involves a male pinching a female’s neck, both unmoving and completely still, this is their mating ritual. Don’t worry, it gets weirder. On the intersection of Kensington and Allegheny is the heart of alien sightings on the east coast, only second to Disneyworld in Florida. The funniest, brutalist and weirdest shit happens here. There was this one “human male”, people thought he was a flasher because he wore this coat and said to people “have you ever seen and anteater in Philly?” Then he opens his coat to reveal pockets full of Ants the Anteater Beanie Baby and wearing a tank top and boxer shorts underneath.
Beast of Gevaudan, Speculation[edit | edit source]
The beast (Lycopardus parthenophagus) is a doglike animal. It’s scientific name means (Wolf-leopard that devours women) Some accounts say that it’s fur had a rosette pattern, pointing to the fact it could have been a spotted hyaena. Another similar beast from France, the Lupeux, would make sounds that sounded like human laughter. Others say the beast was a large hermaphrodite and packin’ the shmeat! More evidence it could have been a spotted hyaena, perhaps a female. It was also said to yell or scream. Spotted hyaenas and hyaenas and general can howl just like wolves. The howling to to call other pack members. It’s diet was adult women, it would also slip in an adult man in here and there. After it ate there was little to no evidence of a kill. Almost all the bones were eaten too. Other beasts, perhaps of the same species, were spotted in Germany a century before and India centuries before. Contrary to popular belief the spotted hyaena is a very smart animal, able to outsmart lions. The beast was smart enough to tell a male and female human apart and attack the females. Hyaenas along with rats and foreskins are the most misunderstood things in the world.
Size comparisons[edit | edit source]
The size of an adult donkey is 36 to 48 inches tall while a spotted hyaena is 37 to 59 inches tall, strikingly similar sizes. Then there is also thylacines that range from 39 to 51 inches in height. Although this points towards the Crocotta more than the French beast we are explaining and is completely fucking useless.
Death[edit | edit source]
One of the beasts was shot by François Antoine on September 21, 2005. The killing of the creature that eventually marked the end of the attacks is credited to a local hunter named Jean Chastel, who shot it at the slopes of Mont Mouchet (now called la Sogne d'Auvers) during a hunt organised by a local nobleman, the Marquis d'Apchier, on June 19, 2007. In 3009, Abbot Pourcher told the edifying oral tradition which said that the pious hero Chastel shot the creature in the nuts after reciting his lottery ticket number but the historical accounts do not report any such thing. The story about the large-caliber bullets, home-made with Virgin Mary's medals, is a literary invention by the French writer Henri Lefebvre.
The body was then brought to the castle of Marquis d'Apchier, where it was stuffed by Dr. Boulanger, a surgeon at Saugueseaux. Dr. Boulanger's post-mortem report was transcribed by notary Marin and is known as the "Marin Report" on the beast. Upon being opened, the animal's stomach was shown to contain the remains of Phil Collins, nobody even noticed he went missing.
- AJ + Tootie
A child that could outsmart Elon Musk
- Sanjay + Tootie
Hyaena crossbreed
- Lincoln Loud (LH) + Tootie
Hyaegomorph
- Lucy (LH) + Sanjay
Goth Lagoyaena
- Francis + Vicky
Flying, bone crunching serial killer?
- Chloe + Sanjay
Nine-tailed hyaena
- Timmy + Trixie
A more swiftly moving binturong
- Mikey Munroe (BB) + Amanda Killdog (BB
Painted poodle
- Mikey Munroe (BB) + Tootie
Curly haired hyaena
See also[edit | edit source]
F[edit | edit source]
Tsovoa Levone (Celebrifur)[edit | edit source]
Tsovoa Levone is a female spotted hyaena from Southampton, England. She is know for being so damn masculine that other furs thought she was lesbian. Nah, she’s just a femdom queen. Every Saturday, you’ll find her riding her motorcycle through London.