User:Bears

No, I'm not really a bear. No need to worry. But that would be awesome, right? Speaking of which, I hope to one day take over John Madden's position as Captain Obvious. I'm always right, except for when I'm wrong.

I was born in a small town south of Uranus, China somewhere around the time that Black Jesus battled Godzilla. I was born to your mom and Neo Nazi. I live in the USA^{[citation needed]} sometimes. It gets complex.

Occasionally, I do like playing heterosexual sports like tennis and the infamous child molestation game. If you don't know how to play the game, send your child to my house and I will show him/her.

Well, if you would like to meet me sometime, please leave your social security number on my talk page. Don't worry if I do not respond, I will find you eventually.

Have a good day, guys! :) - Bears