User:ArrowFlint22/HowTo:Wrestle an Alligator

Alligator wrestling is very easy for people of all ages, sexes(2only), and political/religious beliefs and is extremely fun and safe for the whole family!

Are you bored as fuck? Do you want something to do with your life rather than sitting on your couch watching Big Bang Theory reruns and being a lazy fatass? WELL WORRY NO MORE FELLOW WORTHLESS SACK OF SHIT, because I have the best activity to do when one is bored! WRESTLE AN ALLIGATOR! THAT'S RIGHT! WRESTLE AN OVERSIZED, OVERWEIGHT LIZARD! Are you David Icke and are tired of those reptilian scumbags or a person living in Florida with a YUGE alligator infestation? Well you can just pummel the fuck faces to death with your bare hands, and I am here to show you how!

How to wrestle an alligator

1. First you have to find your victim target! Give the fucker a taste of its own medicine by turning it from the hunter to the hunted! The best places you are bound to find those pesky bastards known as Alligators is in a swamp! Places such as Loserana, Florida, and Shrek's Swamp should suffice! If your going to do it in Shrek's Swamp make sure Shrek isn't home or he'll kick your ass!
2. Once you've found your alligator to fuck up you have to antagonize it. The alligator will ignore you if you just wait for it, because alligators have better things to do all day than pay attention to your puny ass! You should throw rocks at it, make nanna-nanna boo-boo faces at it, knock on it's door and ask it if it has a moment to talk about our Lord and Saviour, Jesus Christ, play Justin Bieber's: "Baby" at max volume, ding dong ditch them, and pretty much anything else that will piss them off!
3. Once you've successfully got the lizard's attention, IT'S GO TIME, BABY! HURRY! Get into position! That hissy boi is mighty 'a' pissed and is waddling straight towards you! Jump on it's back and punch it over and over, using knuckle dusters can make this more effective! Grab it's tail and stab it with a pencil! Maybe hold it down and force it to eat 200,000 Twinkies, that will definitely give it diabeetus and make the gator die a slow, painful death which will make the experience even more funny and entertaining! Basically do whatever it takes to kill it and if you fail then it will be even more funny to watch the Alligator maul you to death and swallow you whole like most reptiles!
4. IF you've successfully done all these steps in correct order and successfully won the wrestling match, then CONGRATULATIONS! You've successfully wrestled an alligator! You will probably piss off PETA and make Steve Irwin proud from beyond the grave!!

The Organization

Dwayne Johnson once wrestled in the AWF! How cool!

If you wish to share your alligator wrestling experiences with like-minded people or wrestle an alligator on live TV, then join the ALLIGATOR WRESTLING FEDERATION or AWF! This organization takes pride in wrestling dem gators and pissin' off PETA!