Uncyclopedia:Pee Review/User:Ketchup Boss/UnNews:Paul McCartney gets booed off stage
User:Ketchup Boss/UnNews:Paul McCartney gets booed off stage[edit source]
Ketchup Boss has a openly gay crush on Bertie Wooster (talk) 05:25, 12 October 2014 (UTC) Ok now people.--Ketchup Boss has a openly gay crush on Bertie Wooster (talk) 05:25, 12 October 2014 (UTC)
| Humour: | 3 | This is a 3 and really, that's a generous 3. Don't be discouraged however, I will explain to you where you have gone wrong and how you can fix it.
The humor style is not a good one, it's common on Uncyclopedia but it isn't funny. You can just tell a joke by saying a bunch of dirty words without good execution. The key to good execution is to base it off of events that actually happened OR events that are outrageous but you can convince your reader that it is somewhat plausible. You need to go for the latter here, because this evidently isn't based on reality. So make it believable! Ask yourself the following: How does Paul McCartney talk? Can I mimmick this a little? This is a good place to start and is certainly where I would start. |
| Concept: | 5 | As a concept it isn't too bad, it's definitely one of the "based on fiction" rather than "based on reality" type. It needs work on the execution mainly, as well as content, spelling, etc. Be careful not to write UnNews like this too often, UnNews based on fact rather than fiction can often be funnier. However, this is a reasonable idea that could work if you nailed your execution. |
| Prose and formatting: | 1 | Definitely your biggest let down is your formatting. Sure it looks like an UnNews but it needs certain things absolutely nailed: Re-read and make sure it makes sense (Hint, hint: The first line!), spelling, spacing (definitely this), grammar, interwiki links (use a few more in my opinion) and lastly your quantity of article. UnNews are designed to be short, but 982 bytes is not enough. 1,500 bytes should be the absolute bare minimum, and I would recommend you try and aim for over 2,000. It's not a rule, but definitely a recommended guideline. |
| Images: | 7 | You have used one image, which is pretty standard for UnNews so I can't really fault your quantity here. However, maybe a different image? Perhaps an image of him booed off stage, ask around on UN:CHAT for somebody to make you a photoshop of something like this. Something evidentially taken straight from Google Images isn't the best thing to use. Of course it doesn't have to be what I have suggested, but do feel free to use your imagination (or borrow someone else's) |
| Miscellaneous: | 3.5 | My overall rating out of 10. |
| Final Score: | 19.5 | Sorry man, but this is far from ready. It needs to be longer, better executed, and re-read and re-read and re-read!
Hope this advice steers you in the right direction, don't give up on it! |
| Reviewer: | ~Sir Frosty (Talk to me!)  08:20, 30 October 2014 (UTC)
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