Uncyclopedia:Departure of Fun/Unstory/Old
Unstory (started 6th May 2006)[edit source]
Once across the rolling golden plains of Euthanasia, seven large, voluptuous, juicy, mangoes meandered slowly towards Madagascar, in haste, unaware that their fetid mothers enthusiastically fondled rotting guava whilst dancing upon the putrid mass of jelly bellied, extremely dramatic yet procrastinating spawn, as they chewed merrily upon the chalky chalk wielding wikipedians writing some inane drivel about masses of insipid foreigners who think Uncyclopedia is junky junky junky junky floccinaucinihilipilification, with crayons on their silly, morbidly obese, rapidly expanding website, "Encyclopedia Satanica", AKA the world's cheesiest encyclopediathingummyblob after the penguin of Linux exploded drastically over Herbert the Great, causing a deafening "baa", and monstrous fluffyness amongst assorted cheese shaped grues of nondescript rooms of nondescript sizes, complete with rickety bears.
Gone were Filipe's days - exploding into gooey aporia of clinjastar-shaped buckyballs - weird, though very satisfying, until large Ni-nights slaughtered the elephants of Antarctica (which, incidentally, do not exist) - so... cheesecake / Ni-peng-neee-whom-ecky-ecky-ecky-ecky-p'tang-zoo-boing-goodem-zu-owly-zhiv means "cheesecake / Ni-peng-neee-whom-ecky-ecky-ecky-ecky-p'tang-zoo-boing-goodem-zu-owly-zhiv" in Ni!™ish dialect but this isn't relevant to what happened because Euthanasia doesn't have mangoes or plains or even mothers allegedly or grues of southern France... yet.
Now, plush fish from Electric Avenue would disagree, but the point is moot, as thou art, for the Olde Time Persones had destroyed my obese face thusly, "Nous sommes poissons, mais vous n'êtes pas poissons parce que il, Marc (et la euro d'equitation) est tres chouette et tu wiki tout death match au..." cried facewise une personne petite while the gardens of Gethsemane bloomed with colourful spacehoppers pining for the seven seas - mangoes, complete with fetid Madagascar-finders should, with some butter icing, create a delightful cheescake-shaped meal of considerable cheesiness, even when Jeremy dumped a load du doobeedoo g'joob aaawopbambaloopawopbamboo over President Mugabe, causing mass tuttifrutti enlightenment amongst her furry minions, moreover taking divers against mountaineering-promoters in Holland, where mountains break wind loudly and never apologise because they don't care about ethics unless tickled to excess zoopy - (zoopy)? - fleurterbilness, though melons assert much ado about Jack Daniels when mangoes reappeared to help the British Empire take over the world book of calm oceans, restful, unmoving, buy illegal drugs, move zoopies, eat cheesecake-flavoured cheesecake, explode meaningfully, reform, remodel, Germanize All Zig, ..., into ÜberZig extreme sports overlords contemplating zoopy ontologically metaphysical zoopy wangs intrinsically moulded into non-zoopy form fillers of giant rehetorical answers to Canada without warning Canada is CONSPIRACY! but for conspirators this foo! stops.
Returning from the wilderness, Filipe wept "WOOP WOOP".
On.
Meanwhile, oblivious mounties galloped happily across Euthanasia, Canadian pride oozing suspciously from nether regions: "Onward!", cried the pernicious populace, "complete your collection of Pokemon syrup bottles here", but there squatted one moose whose patriotic yet damp brain saddened Einstein, whose buckyballs exploded dfviov-esque-ly over space-time crazily, yet subtly, dribbling, an aphorism for zoopy idiots, perchance happening in Canada. Filipe suddenly asked questions: "We are zoopy, non, as Canadian natives tickle ze mighty mangoes senseless every - COCKLOVING SEATTLE MONGERS - one of them IN SACREMENT tourettes MANGO, excuse me but I J. Filipe-Mountbatten-Mangoburster-Buckyball-III of Hogwarts United, am better now than I ever have - COCKLOVING SEATTLE MONGERS - sorry about that but my COCKLOVING SEATTLE MONGERS lobes can't hold much longer because, Captain, she cannae take much more syrup, she's breakin' up, warp drives wa-wa-wa-wa-warp-drives are Ni-peng-neee-whom-ecky-ecky-ecky-ecky-p'tang-zoo-boing-goodem-zu-owly-zhiving badly - b-b-b-b-badly, there's bad badness - b-b-b-bad-badness wooooooh!-stuff, this stuff, and your head mangoes intersteller?", So he was bundled as quickly as possible into a rickety fondue-bowl of gypsum and mangoes, mashed cheesecakes sprinkled cakes, topped 'avec crepes d'equitation'. Replete COCKLOVING SEATTLE MONGERS , Filipe TOURETTE'S seemed mangoish, but mangoes COCKLOVING SEATTLE MONGERS are not mangivores according to COCKLOVING SEATTLE MONGERS Gordon fucking Ramsay III the fucking moron, they fuck your wanking mum to relieve soldiers trench in Canada daily eating garlic mangoes, balloons and dough mangoes explode!
Conversely, chippies 'de Français, d'equitation' reek discreetly of pudding-flavored mangoes, then Buzz Lightyear stole fourty-two mangoes from infinity mango and zoopy beyond voluptuous pneumonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanoconiosis, mangoey, mangoesque, mango-romanesque, post-mangoist, pre-post-llama, pre-post-mago-romanesque foot-soldiers.
Semicolonography zoopiness prevailed righteously balling narwhals 'de neopet' with unfortunate mangoes mangoes peaches, bitch skullduggery mango-like never before, giving some mangoes mangoes, what mangoes really mango, and mangoey, except mangoes, which while, bababadalgharaghtakamminarronnkonnbronntonnerronntuonnthunntrovarrhounawnskawntoohoohoordenenthurnuk xapapapapapapaapapapapapapedslekT, he struck zoopy with pepperoni mangoes pizza mango-zoopie-ZOMG while Batman [insert synonym of "fucked" here] Robin to high society to zoopy furries' disgust (a somewhat horny zoopy) so monstrous yet surprisingly creamy that melts mangoes, however ice mangoes containing chocolate Wikipedia doesn't satisfy melting fire breathing Intel Inside cliché ridden Pokémon eating Mangoes!™ filled the Internets with grateful furries, rapidly yiffing pr0n involving furries' downfall to WikiFur and the socialist cheezbits living meaningless, empty criminal lives within Ye olde BannanaKing's pants of death and yellow gorgonzola mango-flavoured mangoes of mango like something... zoopy, despite Steve's terrible and rather disgusting zoopies, caused mangoish stingray zoopi barb to accelerate the mangoish dezooping validation routine propogating articles designated 'X11.py' doubleplusungood by lunatic doubleplusgood by Newthinkers with BB, yet EG did not even stop, however much thinking hurt the goodthinker, causing crimethinkers to plentimake those crimethinks into doubleplusungoodcrimethinkings, not doubleplusgoodgoodthinkings manufacturing coal-powered partymembers ravaging through creamy goodthinks, which, ostensibly, remake sequels goodwise and BB singing "newspeak, comrades!, doubleplusgoodwise!" citizens, oldthinking terrible crimethinks gheylords thinkstop.
"Meerkats fornicate unusually whenever they deprecate fecal matter, bananas, or yo yos, you fluffy trollop, so caring about everything and simultaneously athletic yet expensively enhanced crapmobile, welded onto cream flavoured sticky toffee apples, grown inside the happiest, most wonderful coconuts of fabulous verbosity," said Big Filipe, tearfully regretful that wombles will collect radioactive waste whilst wombling wistfully across wonderfully degenerate pinecones of Mozambique, a wonderous paeleontological wonderland of wonders.
"Ffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnneeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaooooooooooooooooooooooooooowwwwwwwwwwwwwwww", screamed Jesus religiously into the dank vagina of Gardevoir, while a freeloading priest drank fresh schoolgirls' afterbirth slammers, spiked with spikes and Cosinus.
"Interesting prelude, master prostitute." she grasped with her words. Before, in the custard, when everything seemed trifle, eating was considered unnecessary for wikipedians, who normally assimilate trifle at communal baths, because the process facilitates osmosis, which they require for editing masturbating furiously on medication, otherwise their fetid mothers will never give blancmanges to them, which enrages Jimbo unrequitedly. But Yo-mama, Yo-sista, and You teabagged trifles while your Auntie Penis shot some entendre excitedly in the bitchy antlion, who combed penis repetition into wit, astounding everyone with her uranium fetuses tenticles spelling grammar; PURPLE idiots eating massive ERECT tower gibberish annoys goldfish lickers slightly. "SWIT!!" Megaman, not Ωman. Fishcakes are tennis players' friends' worst enemy's least favorite ballroom dancing partners, regardless of Zelda's preference of smelling them, with her cirrhosis eyeball sandwiches and her unusual waffle kisses.
"Filipe!", gurgled Simon, as Jesus wept tears of aggravated flesh cake over karaoke terrorists while Buddah humped Madonna sideways in reverse. Then Simon spontaneously started moonwalking gracefully towards Canada while reciting the seven plain, detailed verses splattered on Pollock's rotting carcass. Although difficult, moonwalking can help in numerous vampiric rituals executed by Dr. Frankenbuggy Spanglestein, primarily by causing eight ruptures within cigarette stinkywankerarseholeocolic gloop.
After Biggus Diccus, Enormous 1337 and Mr. Uterus all EXPLODED on to the young girls face, spit teeth unto numerous toads, causing Santa Claus's mom to gyrate confusingly yet somehow snowily. Then the young girl shot a dweeb from her Flumplebunt again and vanished. "Egads!" said Trimbongoloony while the uncyclopedian used his dildo ray to eat the contents of a condom stew. Then elephants decided how to kill mutilate it was wonderful hippo margarine margarine so it happens Yoda assfucked like gangrene-infested lightsabours which severed world of warcraft's large penis cakes chikens-fudges' mother who liked cheeeeeeeese but then out of the gloom came santa claws the killer square grop grbble grap glurp hpgrwlhgal me have no life BEEP_BEEP! Suddenly, Napier shat rabbits shot himself in the foot and stuffed a large carrot up his carrot-eating mum/dad (same person), burning thirteen jellyfish who purchased silicon appendages all man-eating Wikipedians for previous owners dogs (A(x100) bleh if you eat 100 strepsils you get HIV but there goes another piece of cheese that smells furry pickle armpits dripping. Meanwhile, a voluptuous Mr.Rodgers decided that communist workers must shiz on doggedly despite warnings biting Billhooks slaves who.
"Dockmackie, fudgesickles, pimple, Fucktard, ball-twisting"
Then,
"it" counted in binary to one thousand. Next, we fetus-munkies fucked mother apes with a potato