UnNews:Trump Jr. to confess slowly over next 4 years

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Monday, July 10, 2017

Donald Trump Jr. with his brother Eric in less ugly times.

Donald Trump's son has announced he will fully confess to his father's campaign's collusion with the Russian government by making piecemeal revelations every day for the next four years.

Donald Trump Jr. began two days ago by admitting he met a Russian lawyer with close ties to the Kremlin, but added it "was not a campaign issue at that time and there was no follow-up".

Then, yesterday Trump Jr. announced that the lawyer was "an individual who I was told might have information helpful to the campaign". He added, "I asked Jared [Kushner] and Paul [Manafort] to attend, but told them nothing of the substance."

Today he is expected to add, "Then I joined the meeting later and we talked more."

On Wednesday is set to announce, "The lawyer mentioned the words 'Hilary Clinton' and 'emails' during the course of our conversation."

On Thursday Trump Jr. is to declare, "When I said 'during the course of our conversation' I really meant within the same minute."

And finally he is set to end the week by noting, "The lawyer did at one point tell me that they could 'fix' the election and then she winked and stamped her foot."

Trump Jr. explained that the plan is to "roll out" the confession over four years, in order to avoid any unpleasant impeachment business. "Right now I feel like we have everyone's attention, but if that starts to wane, I will jazz things up by giving away big pieces of information in the form of crossword clues.

"Like, 'gaining unauthorized access to data in a system or computer', seven letters, h _ c _ i n _."

Sources[edit]

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