UnNews:Sarah Palin revealed to be mastermind behind recent "celebrity massacre"
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This article is part of UnNews, your source for up-to-the-picosecond misinformation. |
This past week, four famed celebrities have met their deaths, they are:
Now lets look at this. Ed McMahon was a sidekick to Johnny Carson on The Tonight Show. He was the one who announced Johnny's arrival with, Heeeeeeeeeeres Johnny!!. McMahon died after his throat exploded while announcing that he was having a heart attack.
Farrah Fawcett, a famed actress and beloved BMX biker who was one of the original Charlie's Angels.
Michael Jackson (who has just recently Beat It, permanently): One of the most influential Pop Stars to ever live. In fact, he was even called the KING of Pop. He made such hits as, Thriller, Beat it, Billie Jean, and Smooth Criminal.
...and most recently, Billy Mays who died from complications in surgery when he was donating a kidney to a friend and gave him an additional one at no extra cost. Who can forget his in-your-face personality that came out of the tv screen while he was convincing you to buy products like OxiClean, Kaboom, and other such items.
A TV Personality, an actress, a pop star, and a TV salesman. all dead within a week. Coincidence? I think not. After much work, our researchers have deduced that this "celebrity massacre" is being led by none other than Sarah Palin, who is still sore from her and John McCain's loss in the 08' election. She claims that all these past victims were paramount reasons on her political loss. Our researchers also say that next on the list is Olympic athlete Michael Phelps, who sold Palin out as his drug dealer when the photo of him taking a hit from a bong was found. And after Michael is out of the way, we believe that Palin will go after either the affluent businessman Donald Trump, or home-workout video star, Richard Simmons.