UnNews:President pardons furries

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25 November 2013
President Obama showing solidarity with the fursecuted.

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- A press release came from the White House stating that President Barack Obama would give a speech on "animal lovers" and "mistreatment towards the furry ones" in honor of the day of blessings, Thanksgiving. Excited environmentalists and animal rights activists congratulated the president for bringing long-overdue attention to the nation the issue of animal abuse. PETA even wrote an open letter to President Obama, praising his decision and comparing him to Mahatma Gandhi. However, walking out to his podium this morning, the president ended up looking like a big fat turkey.

Pulling back the hood of his turkey mascot suit, the President of the United States took a few minutes out of his and the country's time to be a furry apologist.


It was at this point the president's tone grew increasingly more irritated, his anger revealed by the bent of his brow. "I mean, seriously. Who the hell do you think you are?" he rhetorically asked some hypothetical individual.

Obama furry logo.png


President Obama then raised his turkey hood up like a thug and strutted back inside, making loud gobble noises and flapping his arms along the way. A silence fell over the White House lawn that only the deep vacuum of space could echo, soon to be interrupted by Vice-President Joe Biden asking, "What in God's fuck was that all about?"


A random, yet probably relevant, piece of fan art this reporter found at FurAffinity.net. I'm not quite sure how to interpret it.

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