UnNews:Nothing happens on November 19, war declared on UnNews
20 November 2006
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HERE, This Place, USA -- Users of UnNews, your source for up-to-the-microsecond misinformation, were shocked Saturday and Sunday to discover that there was no news for November 19. This revelation led to riots, bonfires, crying babies, SpongeBob marathons on Nickelodeon, a Kevin Federline concert, a Star Trek marathon on TV Land, radio airplay for the song, "Popozao," and another rampage by actor Richard Moll, who played Bull Shannon for nine seasons on TV's Night Court.
This chaos forced President Bush, British Prime Minister Tony Blair, Britain's Queen Elizabeth II, former President of Russia Boris Yeltsin, William Shatner, This Guy, That Guy, Eddie Van Halen, and Jesus Christ to declare war on UnNews, which takes effect Tuesday, November 21. A spokesman for the United Nations released this statement Sunday:
"We will not stand for such anarchy in the UK, the United States, Switzerland, Canada, Krypton, Jay Leno's Chin, or anywhere else in this universe. It is such a tragedy that the world has come to this nonsense, all because UnNews didn't have any November 19 news stories. Is there any humor left in this sad, forsaken world? Wanna hear a knock-knock joke? Do ya? Do ya? Nevermind."
United Nations spokesman on November 18-19 chaos
The newly Democratic Congress is debating the justification of this nonsensical war against UnNews. Some senators, namely John Kerry, John McCain, Ralph Nader, and Skeletor from He-Man, have threatened to resign if this war is approved. A Supreme Court hearing is scheduled for Wednesday at 12:34 P.M.
Stay tuned to UnNews as this story develops. UnNews, your news source on crack.
- Tony Montana "November 19 declared unNews-worthy day, pardon the pun." Associated Press, November 19, 2006