UnNews:MSNBC suspends Olbermann

From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia
Jump to navigation Jump to search
UnNews Logo Potato.png This article is part of UnNews, your source for up-to-the-picosecond misinformation.

5 November 2010

Keith Olbermann.jpg

NEW YORK CITY -- Days after two other broadcast celebrities were fired from their jobs for alleged racist comments, NBC has suspended Keith Olbermann from its MSNBC cable news service, without pay, and also for discrimination--against Republicans.

Mr. Olbermann gave three political contributions during the campaign season that ended with Tuesday's mid-term elections, all three to Democrats. He is MSNBC's highest-rated personality--which is sort of like saying UnNews is Earth's highest-rated news source. His ratings, when they actually appear on the Nielsens, dominate in selected demographics, such as homosexual wombats.

After Politico disclosed the suspension on Friday, MSNBC president Phil Griffin had what msnbc.com called a one-sentence statement. But it has two sentences, and the second is: "Mindful of NBC News policy and standards, I have suspended him indefinitely without pay.” This sanction, usually confined to policemen or campaign aides, is an American institution when a subordinate does something politically indefensible. The subordinate must live off his savings until the stir blows over. Management can then compensate him, usually with a hefty, unjustified Christmas bonus.

Until the scandal broke, no one in America imagined that Mr. Olbermann favored Democrats, nor that NBC News had standards.

Sources[edit | edit source]