UnNews:London runners get through minute's silence in 30 seconds

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21 April 2013

A Pants Bomber in action.

Runners at today's London marathon have already broken records - by knocking a whopping 30 seconds off the previous best time for a minute's silence.

The silence, held to commemorate those killed and injured in the attacks on Boston on Monday, was not expected to be particularly quick. With temperatures brisk, at around 50°F, experts had forecast a cagey start and an overall time of around sixty seconds.

However, from the very off, the pace was frenetic, and the silence finished in just over half the time, at 30.2 seconds. BBC pundit Brendan Foster said, "I think they were inspired. Today, London sent out a message on behalf of marathon runners everywhere. We will not be held back by terrorists. Even during the minute's silence."

Other observers expressed concern about the athletes' record time. Doug Chivers, who won the 1956 marathon in 2 days, 16 hours and 4 minutes, said, "There is no way they are all clean. There is no way. You can't do a minute's silence in thirty seconds, it's just not humanly possible."

And here, for no reason at all, is Paula Radcliffe shitting while leading the 2005 marathon.

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