UnNews:Former UnNews writer lands job at The Wrap, writes first article about Doug Jones
Saturday, December 16, 2017
UNNEWS HEADQUARTERS -- As part of my regular news feed on Yahoo!, I stumbled upon an article from The Wrap (not to be confused with its Hip-Hop oriented sister publication, The Rap) that reminded me of something you'd see right here on UnNews. The Wrap is not normally a satire publication, so this caught me and my colleagues by surprise. The article, by Tim Molloy, brilliantly combines Alabama senator-elect Doug Jones with the quirky actor of the same name... and if that weren't enough, he throws in Kyle MacLachlan's character, Dougie Jones, from Twin Peaks, which was recently revived by Showtime.
I asked my colleagues if Mr. Molloy was one of our guys, and they were stumped. So I did a bit of sleuthing, or as they call it in our field, investigative journalism.
For the record, the Winkler author's sole contribution to an UnNews article was as follows:
10:15, 13 November 2007 (diff | hist) . . (-4,102) . . UnNews:My son makes the play of the game (←Replaced page with 'Mr winkler is GAY')
Tim Molloy's style of writing reminded me of a once prominent UnNews jokester by the name of Zim ulator. If you replace the T with a Z, you get "Zim." It made more sense than any other crackpot theory. So I decided to contact Molloy to get to the bottom of this matter.
"PF4Eva! Long time no hear!" Mr. Molloy said.
"Zim, is that you?" I inquired.
"Used to be," Molloy said.
I congratulated him on his new job, and probed his Doug Jones article. He admitted that "the Doug Jones thing was so fucking funny that I couldn't resist UnNewsing it a bit. You never forget where you came from."
I confided that I, too, "couldn't resist UnNewsing it a bit. You never forget where you still are."
So there you have it, former UnNews writer Tim "Zim ulator" Molloy now has a high-paying job at The Wrap. And Doug Jones is three different people, one of them a fictional character.
- ^ Whose credits include Pan's Labyrinth, Nosferatu, Hellboy, Legion, and The Bye Bye Man.
- ^ And especially because I couldn't find one typographical or grammatical error.
- Tim Molloy (a.k.a. Zim ulator) "Inside Doug Jones’ Amazing Year, From ‘Star Trek’ to ‘Twin Peaks’ to Senate" The Wrap, December 13, 2017
|This article features first-hand journalism by an UnNews correspondent.|