UnNews:Doe scandalizes macaque with sex move

From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia
Jump to: navigation, search

Saturday, February 4, 2017


The filthy move starts around the 0.39 point.

A barely-legal doe has scandalised a cheeky macaque monkey who was innocently humping her - by pulling a sex move that has wowed the internet.

Macaulkay the macaque, 18, was simply engaging in simulated sex with the doe because he is a cheeky little monkey, as can be seen in the first half of the above video, which you may feel creepy watching.

However, around the 39 second mark, cameraman Alexandre Bonnefoy captured an extraordinary sexual manoeuvre not seen in the human world.

Bonnefoy, whose name actually means "good fuck" in French, told UnNews: "It was incredible. After being a cameraman for more than 20 years, I hardly ever get an erection while watching monkeys simulate coitus with other animals anymore. But after seeing the doe's reaction, not only did I get a stiffie - I had to call my girlfriend and have phone sex with her, in which she described somehow performing the same act on her own back."

Macaulkay, however, was not pleased. Bonnefoy explained: "He kind of skulked off and hung his head for a while. It reminded me of the first time I had sex with an older woman who showed me a few tricks. In some ways you have ejaculated, but in some ways you are left a broken man, feeling you were somehow not enough for her."

The video has since gone viral, with the hashtags #SheSnuffledItRightUp and #DatTongueDoe spreading like wildfire on Twitter, leading to health experts to warn youngsters not to try to recreate the scene. "Human beings are not designed to do that kind of thing," agreed Bonnefoy, "except maybe Lisa Ann."

UnNews Logo Potato.png