Trump Derangement Syndrome

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A TDS sufferer hit by a car moments after marching into highway traffic.

Trump Derangement Syndrome (TDS) is a mental disorder that causes individuals who are afflicted with the disease to lash out at normal people in fits of uncontrollable rage, usually while frothing at the mouth and shouting epithets. Millions of Americans are believed to suffer from the disorder. Other symptoms of the disease include crying, marching into highway traffic, and spending excessive amounts of time watching televised news broadcasts and searching internet blogs for opinions that validate one's own irrational loathing for the 45th President of the United States - Donald Trump. Another characteristic behaviour of victims is their sudden opposition to democracy. Psychologists studying the disease have identified the underlying cause as being psychosomatic, and they classify the people exhibiting these symptoms as "a bunch of babies."

The epidemic has also had notable beneficial effects, such as an entire new industry for promoting conspiracy theories about president Trump, which has, as of early 2018, generated thousands of new jobs, boosting U.S. economic growth by double digits for the third consecutive quarter. If the trend continues, the booming economy is likely to cause a landslide victory for Trump's re-election campaign in 2020, driving sufferers of TDS into a new phase of the disease, where they deteriorate into vegans.

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