- 30 AD - Supply Side Jesus patents cure for leprosy, sells treatment for thirteen drachmas.
- 1503 - The first handgun is designed, launches the shooter's hands towards the enemy.
- 1781 - Benedict Arnold, tired of being called "Eggs Benedict" by George Washington, defects to the British.
- 1850 - Millard Fillmore installs the White House's first bathtub.
- 1954 - Leni Riefenstahl writes, directs and stars in propaganda film, "Both Sides Were Bad, M'Kay?"
- 1991 - First ever "Yo-Mama Joke" is told. Violent bitch-slaps shortly follow.
- 2017 - Millions of feminist activists and Antifa super soldiers march in the streets, murder innocent shop windows.