HowTo:Take over a small Hungarian village on a budget

Your flat, probably

Imagine this, you are bored one day, and you think, "How do I take over a small Hungarian village?" but then you remember, you're a cheapskate. Don't worry, here are some ways you can achieve your dream, feel free to add more.

Idea #1: Barter with the natives. (>$1)

Sometimes you can go up the ladder by trading, much like our ancestors before us.

Step 1: Buy some bread.

Why bread? Because, white bread. People need bread. So buy some bread.

Step 2: Trade

Now trade the bread with a Hungarian, but ask them for something in return.

Step 3: (See 2)

Continue to trade like Kyle MacDonald until you get to village leader.

Idea #2: Bribe the leader ($depends)

Step 1: Beg.

Get this outfit for free at Goodwill (via stealing)

Beg.

Step 2 (if needed): Stop

If it doesn't work, stop.

Step 3: Come back

Try again

Idea #3 Talk to the village elder

Step 1: Talk to the village elder.

Ask the village elder if it's possible to become the new leader.

Step 2a: No

If he says no, kill the village elder.

Step 2b: Yes

If he says yes, kill the village leader and take his place.