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- 1104 - Potato famine engulfs Ireland, panhandling leprechauns flood the cities because they're a little short.
- 1390 - Bread is invented. Everybody proposes a toast to the inventor.
- 1391 - Sliced Bread is invented. This is the greatest thing invented since, you know what I'm drawing a blank.
- 1865 - A three legged dog walks into a saloon and says, "I'm looking for the man who shot my paw."
- 1980 - Various case studies indicate you can put things in them and carry them by their handles.
- 1985 - Das Boot, a German film about gender neutral enclosed footwear, is released.
- 2009 - Juan Pablo Montoya is shot dead, police believe the killer was a golfer, because he made a hole in Juan.
- 2018 - French President Emmanuel Macron explains at a press conference that he doesn't like too many eggs for breakfast as one egg is un oeuf.