Yahweh ben Yahweh
Yahweh ben Yahweh, formerly known as "Hulon Mitchell Sr", is a black supremacist cult leader, as well as a deity. From his small town, he rose to power in 1878, having gathered a devoted following of black people seeking his guidance of delivering them from the power of the White Man. Known for telling his people to drink burning acid in 1997, Yahweh ben Yahweh remains to this day a symbol of how a man could, by making people think he's God, decieve billions, if not trillions or even quintillions of African-Americans into giving up their chance at participating in World War II.
Birth[edit | edit source]
Yahweh ben Yahweh was born in [redacted] to [redacted], a [redacted], and [redacted], daughter of [redacted]'s [redacted]. [redacted] put his [redacted] into [redacted]'s [redacted], and then he [redacted] some [redacted] into the aforementioned [redacted], thus giving birth to [redacted], the man who would be known as Yahweh ben Yahweh, as well as [redacted], who got [redacted] by [redacted] to become [redacted].
Though that was a lie.
In fact, Yahweh ben Yahweh was born in Egypt to Yahweh, a deity, and Jessica Mitchell, daughter of Yahweh's mom. Yahweh put his power into Jessie's soul, and then he injected some parent-gene-separation program into the aforementioned soul, thus giving birth to [redacted], the man who would be known as Yahweh ben Yahweh, as well as Jessie herself, who got sent back in time by Yahweh to become her own mother.
Though this is another lie. In fact, nobody knows who Hulon Mitchell was before becoming Yahweh ben Yahweh. All that is known is that he was very poor.
Growning up[edit | edit source]
So, as mentioned above, Yahweh ben Yahweh was a very poor man. He had only, like 6 pennies, most of which were stolen from the sewers with a stick smeared with sticky slime. It was mentioned that he learned English from listening on to an English class. It is often speculated that he is the actor Hulon Mitchell Sr., who got broke from becoming a vegetarian
Founding a cult[edit | edit source]
Yahweh ben Yahweh, at one time, got the idea to star on the set of the show "Black Jesus". He rejected the part, but found the concept of a "black Jesus" very interesting. For this reason, he bought a Bible and rewrote it so that Jesus's name is always prefixed with "Black". He showed it to some hobo kids and saw as they all believed that. He thus used them to promote his religion, aka the Church of Black Jesus. He also named himself after God, in order to convince his followers better of his divinity, making them worship him along with Black Jesus. For those doubting, he also handwrote a copy of his rewritten Bible and used it as the bible of his proto-cult. He used the children to take some money from sewers for him, which he used to buy two plots of land to make a small church out of old planks and to send some subliminal messages such as printing "suseJ kcalB fo dna hewhaY neb hewhaY fo hcruhc eht nioJ" on the back of lunch boxes. He got a large number of black followers, mostly due to the fact that one of the tenets of his cult is that Jesus is black.