Why?:Go fuck yourself
It's not the first time it has happened to you. You might have given your opinion when nobody cared about it, or It's pretty obvious they're angry at you, as they're screaming . And while they're throwing at you a full thesaurus of offensive words and expressions, one of them stick from the crowd: "Go fuck yourself!". And at this point, you might have wondered yourself, Why?:Go fuck yourself?
It might sound illogical, but it's the most logical thing to do[edit | edit source]
At first, fucking yourself might sound a physically impossible thing to do. Because of the way our body is built, the penis cannot be inserted inside the anus, [1] Only the are most skilled of acrobats are able to perform this trick without dying. Such is the reason most people rejoice in feeling intimate with themselves with masturbation - this, however, does not involve actual fucking, as it does not involve a stick being used to fill a hole.
However, recent innovations in science have made what once seemed impossible, possible. The field of cloning is an ever-growing - after all, it was already in 1996 when a sheep was cloned
There is now law against it[edit | edit source]
In a technical level, the act of fucking oneself might be considered incest, as you're having sex with someone with your own genes. However, there can easily be found a loophole, in that for it to be considered "incest" it has to be one of your near relatives, and you are not your own relative, meaning that there is no actual incest.[2]
There are no medical risks[edit | edit source]
Having sex with a different person can always have the risk of catching an STD, or even worse, pregnancy.
It's the only way you can get laid[edit | edit source]
Let's be honest. Right now, you could be at the park, watching a movie, or doing anything productive with your life; but instead you are here, reading an Uncyclopedia article. There's a high chance that you are not in a relationship, nor you have any possibilities to be in one in the distant future. You've probably tried a thousands times by now .
And, very ironically, most of these people that you tried to date probably screamed at you, "Go fuck yourself!". You might have been thinking it was simply a way to , but it was actually
No one will ever love you as you do[edit | edit source]
Think about it. Who will always know the name of your favourite bands? You. Who will always be there when you're down? You.[3]
If you have a high perception of yourself, then you're very likely to be into . If, by contrast, you have a really low self-esteem, then you'll probably have thrown through the window any kind expectations by now; meaning that you won't back off from fucking someone as repulsive and disgusting as yourself. Either way, fucking yourself will not be something you will regret.
People have told you to go fuck yourself a thousands times by now[edit | edit source]
...and will probably keep doing so, because it's the best idea ever concieved by mankind. As you have seen in this Why? article, there are no negative repercusions whatsoever to this practice, only benefits. So, what are you waiting now?
Footnotes[edit | edit source]
- ↑ That is, if you have a penis. If you don't have a penis, then you're pretty much screwedno matter how much you try to twitch it and .
- ↑ That is, unless in special cases where you somehow end up being related with yourself, in which case, the practice of self-fucking is not permitted by law.
- ↑ And according to some, there's also God too, but that guy doesn't