Wikipedian Security Agency
“In Jimbo We Trust, In Everyone Else We Huff!”
– The WSA Motto
The Wikipedian Security Agency (W.S.A.) is one of the most powerful secret agencies of Wikipedia. Created by Jimbo Wales in 2001, it was responsible for Larry Sanger's vanishing (he's now a leader of the IPs), the 9/11 dust up (according to the Saudi Arabian government), and other whodoneits. WSA is composed of a group of vandals who vandalize Wikipedia on a daily basis, and who do so for so many reasons that you couldn't understand.
History[edit | edit source]
Created along with Wikipedia, WSA was used as instrument of misinformation for Jimbo's personal propaganda. With the creation of Wikipedia as a cyberspace encyclopedia in 2001 WSA was organized as its internal secret police "to protect, serve, and vandalize THE TRUTH CITATION NEEDED!". Headquartered in St. Petersburg, Florida, WSA grew and by now counts around five secret agents in its task force. WSA is watchin' you! Or at least calls you on the phone sometimes and hangs up.
Organization[edit | edit source]
The Wikipedian puppet anti-vandalism organization, the Counter-Vandalism Unit (C.V.U.), is a simple fake to calm down the few real vandals who come to the site. The WSA is mostly known and manned by Wikipedian admins, stewarts, checkusers and WMF staff, all of whom are former vandals.
Ask yourself, "Self, how is possible to control 6,000,000 jews, ah, I mean, articles, files, talks, namespaces etc." Ask yourself, "Self, why do thousands of IPs seems to be more expert in Wikipedian poplicies than their admins? Why do they waste their time controlling hundreds of articles and tagging dozens of vandals, also without a login? Masochism? Fisting? BDSM? forced virginity? And, by the way, Self, why do the vandals have a conference once a year, during which the mysterious IPs stops their activity for at least a week? Self, are you listening?"
WSA is composed by anon (or anal?) IPs, humble noobs with few contributions, and no one who knows where the bodies are buried (behind the user sheds, about fifty feet over to user-right).
Before people vandalize wikipedia, they must sign up with the agency and get their marching orders. A few people at a time vandalize the sports articles, others focus on Michael Jackson or Cultural Revolution. They then change IP addresses and move on to the next article on the master list. Chaos has never broken out in real life, as the vandalism is strictly controlled by logarithms designed by Larry Sanger, the real coding and creative genius of wikipedia.
Crimes[edit | edit source]
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| Admins block... WSA delete or section blank! |
Methods[edit | edit source]
WSA has a long list of crimes since 2001. Having at least no secret agents everywhere worldwide, the agency uses Google Maps and Google Street View to inform local agents where the vandal should strike next. "IPtrace" is prehistory!
It has been calculated that more than 1,200 vandals who've vandalized Wikimedia projects in all languages have undisappeared since 2003, and are writing on uncyclopedia. An example? Are you so silly to think that the sockmaster#1, Willy on Wheels, the King of the Hobos and daytripper supreme, after years of piracy againist Wikipedia decided suddenly to write on uncyclopedia as well as to ALSO write an excuse message to Wikipedia? He's now an admin on uncyclopedia, the real wikipedia! This is an article about a secret agency, not about science fiction, or geese.
Eyenet Kommando[edit | edit source]
On the other hand, dozens of political opponents of Wikipedia, scattered on various websites, sort of disappeared with the help of a special WSA bureau named Sanger 1.
This special èlite force has a specific task: to monitor and suppress conspiracies against Wikipedia around the web. Remember: admins block, WSA deletes and section blanks!
References[edit | edit source]
WSA doesn't need no stinkin' refs.
See also[edit | edit source]
- C.V.U. - The fake organization
- National Security Agency
- Schutz Staffel
- Gestapo
- Fake link to confuse you
- Another fake link to confuse you
External links[edit | edit source]
- None! Understood? WSA doesn't exist!