User talk:WatermelonSoup

Oh Dear...

Beware! The evil eye is upon thee!

Hello, WatermelonSoup, and welcome to Uncyclopedia! Unfortunately, we've noticed that your contributions - not to put too fine a point on it - have been crap. Basically, we think you're a spammer/vandal/10-year-old. But don't despair! We have ways to make you talk.. ahem. I mean, there are ways to get you out of this mess.

• Beginner's Guide
• Our Vanity Policies - why we don't care about your friends
• If you're a vandal, this may be your wake up-call!
• How to be funny and not just stupid

If you read anything at all, make it the above four links. If you want to find out more about Uncyclopedia or need more help with something, try these:

• About Uncyclopedia and The five pliers of Uncyclopedia
• How to get started editing on uncyclopedia
• Everything you ever wanted to know, but were afraid to ask
• Help Pages - if you need help with a specific issue

Good luck and I'm sorry you got off to such a bad start. I hope you enjoy editing here and being an Uncyclopedian! Please sign your name on talk pages using four tildes (~~~~) or use the "sign" button () above the edit box. This will automatically produce your name and the date.

If you need help or think this template has been placed unfairly, please ask me or an admin on their talk page, rather than going bat-fuck-insane. Alternatively you can ask at the Dump, or add the following: {{help}} to this page along with a message and someone will come along and help you if they can. Again, welcome!  -- Lost Labyrinth • (t) • (c) • (a) 23:34, February 19, 2012 (UTC)

Play me off, Admins!

Well, I apologize for my crap edits. I'm not really with it right now, and have been spacing for a solid 30 minutes. I'm not sure how I got onto this site, or why I made an account here that I'm probably only going to use once and then forget all about it. As this site is generally unimportant to my existence as a person or internet user (no offense), I'm probably never coming back. I find that Cracked.com is more funny than this... parody. That's my opinion, and I must say that several articles did cause me to laugh. Now, when I quit a site, I usually wish to quit in a way that offends people as little as possible, while still making an impact. As such, I want you to treat me like I had just deleted everything on the main page and replaced it with an "arrow to the knee joke", as this implied crime will cause far less problems than if I actually did anything.

Fond memories, WatermelonSoup

PS: You just lost the game.

A special one day ban as implicitly requested. Now that you have been 'bloodied', the slate is wiped. --RomArtus*Imperator ® (Orate) 17:17, February 20, 2012 (UTC)