User talk:The perfect crime

Welcome! As you can see from this diagram we have a very organized way of doing things around here. Hello, The perfect crime! I'm Zana Dark, and I've noticed some of your recent contributions. I do hope you like the place and decide to stay. If not, the door's right over there... no, a little more to your left... yeah. Anyway, here are a few good links for nooblets: The Beginner's Guide - a very useful, step by step guide. Our Vanity Policies - why we don't care about your friends. How to be funny and not just stupid -besides a good read, it pretty much sums everything up. Formatting - a quick guide to wikifying an article. If you read anything at all, make it the above four links. I'm presuming you can read, of course. You can read, can't you? For more information about Uncyclopedia you can also try: About Uncyclopedia; The Five Pliers of Uncyclopedia; Everything You Ever Wanted to Know About Uncyclopedia, But Were Afraid to Ask; Our In-Jokes Page in case you ever get confused; and the Help Pages for help with a specific issue. There is also the Uncyclopedian Adopt-a-Noob Program. It's a scheme that is designed to bring experienced editors straight to you. You can ask anyone from our list of available mentors if they'll adopt you on their talkpage. I happen to be one, so if you want, you could just ask me. When posting on forum pages, talk pages, etc., please sign your name by typing four tildes (~~~~) or use the "sign" button () above the edit box. This will automatically produce your name and the date, and avoid the aggravation that goes along with unsigned comments. Writing articles is not a requirement, but it certainly is a fun and easy way to express yourself. To get started, it's recommended that you create it in your userspace (for example, User:The perfect crime/Articles) so you can edit at your leisure. If you decide to create articles in the cold world of mainspace, make sure it is in accordance with the policies laid out above to avoid instant deletion, and if you're not done put the "Work-In-Progress" template - {{construction}} - onto it as well. So once again, welcome to Uncyclopedia, and have a great time! ~Formerly Annoying Crap 06:02, 16 January 2010